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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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[upbeat music]

4
00:00:56,524 --> 00:00:59,260
(male narrator)
There ain't no place
like the south.

5
00:00:59,293 --> 00:01:01,529
We call it "God's Country."

6
00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:03,464
And not because
somebody decided

7
00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:06,167
to spread the Bible Belt
around it.

8
00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:08,302
Now, we believe
that the almighty chooses

9
00:01:08,336 --> 00:01:11,239
the wild and foolish stuff
of this life to confound

10
00:01:11,272 --> 00:01:13,307
even the wisest of folks.

11
00:01:13,341 --> 00:01:16,610
You don't have to drive too far
to find chainsaw carvings

12
00:01:16,644 --> 00:01:18,446
boiled peanut stands.

13
00:01:18,479 --> 00:01:21,282
There's a chicken house
turned into a flea market.

14
00:01:21,315 --> 00:01:24,418
There's the rural town they
turned into a Bavarian village

15
00:01:24,452 --> 00:01:28,889
as an excuse to sell beer
and funnel cakes, a big chicken

16
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:32,626
or the 150 foot water tower
in the shape of a peach

17
00:01:32,660 --> 00:01:36,430
that people keep mistaking
for a giant butt.

18
00:01:36,464 --> 00:01:39,733
Well, this tale spotlights
one of them southern oddities

19
00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:43,471
and his name
is Bill Bailey IV.

20
00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:44,705
(female
'Even trade, right?'

21
00:01:44,738 --> 00:01:46,407
You got the papers?

22
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:49,410
Known around these parts
as Crackerjack.

23
00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:51,879
* Ain't a little girl
she's a little in love *

24
00:01:51,912 --> 00:01:55,349
* Used to love me
now she don't no more.. **

25
00:01:55,383 --> 00:01:58,752
Oh, I'm sorry.
This is, uh, a vital asset.

26
00:01:58,786 --> 00:02:01,155
My investment portfolio.

27
00:02:01,189 --> 00:02:03,557
Emma!

28
00:02:03,591 --> 00:02:06,727
Get back here right now and
bring this man his baby doll.

29
00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:10,898
His story is what I'd like
to call a Southern Fairytale.

30
00:02:10,931 --> 00:02:13,367
I used to think
it was a folktale.

31
00:02:13,401 --> 00:02:15,436
That wasn't until I learned
that in folktales

32
00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:17,205
characters use their brains

33
00:02:17,238 --> 00:02:19,173
to get out of their
predicaments

34
00:02:19,207 --> 00:02:21,642
and I can assure you
that none of the characters

35
00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:24,945
in this tale will be
using their brains.

36
00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:28,482
So, once upon a time..

37
00:02:28,516 --> 00:02:32,220
...in a land,
far to the south..

38
00:02:32,253 --> 00:02:34,322
...there was
a damsel in distress

39
00:02:34,355 --> 00:02:36,924
a little person, and a curse

40
00:02:36,957 --> 00:02:40,194
that was thought to be
good and bad.

41
00:02:40,228 --> 00:02:42,230
[country music]

42
00:02:49,937 --> 00:02:51,505
Pecan?

43
00:02:51,539 --> 00:02:52,706
No, thank you.

44
00:02:52,740 --> 00:02:54,408
Oh.

45
00:02:54,442 --> 00:02:56,377
Well, I made you a small..

46
00:02:56,410 --> 00:02:57,778
Um, pie.

47
00:02:57,811 --> 00:02:59,913
I hope you're
not allergic to nuts.

48
00:02:59,947 --> 00:03:01,649
That's not necessary, thank you.

49
00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:04,218
Good, there's a patch
of pecan trees behind us

50
00:03:04,252 --> 00:03:06,320
so I figured
"Waste not, want not."

51
00:03:06,354 --> 00:03:07,855
Like the Bible says.

52
00:03:07,888 --> 00:03:10,491
Actually, that's not
in the Bible.

53
00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:11,725
Oh.

54
00:03:11,759 --> 00:03:13,661
Oh, do we get
one of these?

55
00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:15,496
After you've completed
the course.

56
00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:16,797
One should take driver's ed

57
00:03:16,830 --> 00:03:20,434
in order to get
the driver's license, so..

58
00:03:20,468 --> 00:03:23,871
Mama says, men are the ones
who need help driving

59
00:03:23,904 --> 00:03:26,840
women just need to know
how to get them in gear.

60
00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:28,008
[laughing]

61
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:30,778
'Course she's on fifth gear.

62
00:03:30,811 --> 00:03:31,845
Hmm.

63
00:03:35,916 --> 00:03:38,386
Should we start without..

64
00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:40,888
Oh, yes, sir.
I was just waitin' on you.

65
00:03:40,921 --> 00:03:42,856
Oh. Okay.

66
00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:46,026
I usually begin by getting
both sides of how you met.

67
00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:48,262
Ooh, fifth grade.

68
00:03:48,296 --> 00:03:49,963
Miss Figgly's class.

69
00:03:49,997 --> 00:03:55,002
I whispered, "Piggly Figgly"
real loud in class.

70
00:03:55,035 --> 00:03:58,939
He raised his hand
and took on my punishment.

71
00:03:58,972 --> 00:04:02,042
I knew that day
he might be the one.

72
00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:04,445
'Course then he popped
the question.

73
00:04:06,447 --> 00:04:08,416
* My true love

74
00:04:08,449 --> 00:04:11,385
* Is a blue-eyed daisy

75
00:04:11,419 --> 00:04:14,021
* She sure enough

76
00:04:14,054 --> 00:04:15,956
* Sends me crazy

77
00:04:15,989 --> 00:04:17,991
* My honeybee

78
00:04:21,562 --> 00:04:22,930
* My honey..

79
00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:29,403
[humming]

80
00:04:29,437 --> 00:04:31,372
* My honeybee *

81
00:04:32,740 --> 00:04:34,875
And we've lived
happily ever after.

82
00:04:34,908 --> 00:04:36,410
Hmm.

83
00:04:36,444 --> 00:04:37,778
What's your fiance's name?

84
00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:39,480
Oh, sorry.

85
00:04:39,513 --> 00:04:42,583
Bill Crackerjack Bailey IV.

86
00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,385
Crackerjack?

87
00:04:44,418 --> 00:04:49,323
As in a person or thing of
exceptional quality or talent.

88
00:04:49,357 --> 00:04:51,725
He actually named
himself Crackerjack

89
00:04:51,759 --> 00:04:53,861
'cause it was
a good baseball name.

90
00:04:53,894 --> 00:04:55,763
His daddy loved ball.

91
00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:56,930
Like father, like son?

92
00:04:56,964 --> 00:04:58,632
No!

93
00:04:58,666 --> 00:05:01,402
Uh, I mean, n-no.

94
00:05:03,371 --> 00:05:04,438
His daddy left.

95
00:05:04,472 --> 00:05:05,939
[engine whirring]

96
00:05:05,973 --> 00:05:08,376
'The Bailey men have been
sorta cursed that way.'

97
00:05:08,409 --> 00:05:12,079
* My heavenly home
is bright and fair.. **

98
00:05:12,112 --> 00:05:14,648
They all go out
for beef jerky and..

99
00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:19,353
* Nor pain nor death
can enter there.. *

100
00:05:19,387 --> 00:05:22,390
'Course we've never spoken
about any of this.

101
00:05:22,423 --> 00:05:23,924
His mama told me.

102
00:05:25,959 --> 00:05:28,596
He don't like to dwell
on the past.

103
00:05:28,629 --> 00:05:32,099
* I feel like travelling on

104
00:05:32,132 --> 00:05:36,437
* Nor pain nor death
can enter there.. **

105
00:05:36,470 --> 00:05:39,072
So playing ball
is a coping mechanism

106
00:05:39,106 --> 00:05:43,644
for him to escape the pain
of his father's abandonment?

107
00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:45,513
I need to write that down.

108
00:05:47,548 --> 00:05:50,117
I imagine he still plays ball.

109
00:05:50,150 --> 00:05:52,386
A little.

110
00:05:52,420 --> 00:05:54,154
He actually is an entrepreneur

111
00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:57,425
and a collector
of invaluable treasures.

112
00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:05,399
It's all just a matter
of time for him.

113
00:06:05,433 --> 00:06:08,035
I just don't wanna be
one of those women

114
00:06:08,068 --> 00:06:10,538
who prods her man.

115
00:06:14,141 --> 00:06:17,545
Sometimes, we men
need a jolt.

116
00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:19,379
You should write that down.

117
00:06:21,915 --> 00:06:23,517
Say, you've been engaged..

118
00:06:23,551 --> 00:06:25,419
Oh, um..

119
00:06:25,453 --> 00:06:28,756
Uh, 20 years,
five months and..

120
00:06:29,990 --> 00:06:32,493
I use this to keep count.

121
00:06:32,526 --> 00:06:34,995
Oh, Lord, I have not taken..

122
00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:37,565
Oh, Lord.

123
00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:39,933
Um, not that we're..

124
00:06:39,967 --> 00:06:43,203
That as allowed, we have been
living together as friends.

125
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:46,540
Oh, Lord, he is gonna shoot me.

126
00:06:46,574 --> 00:06:47,775
And he's non-violent.

127
00:06:47,808 --> 00:06:50,043
Dang it. Dang it!
Dang it. No.

128
00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:53,413
He's marriage material,
I promise. I..

129
00:06:57,017 --> 00:06:58,552
Wait, what if Crackerjack comes?

130
00:06:58,586 --> 00:07:00,921
He won't. He plays
softball on Fridays.

131
00:07:00,954 --> 00:07:02,089
Softball?

132
00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:03,657
It's Saturday.

133
00:07:03,691 --> 00:07:05,993
He plays softball then too.

134
00:07:06,026 --> 00:07:08,028
[instrumental music]

135
00:07:10,230 --> 00:07:12,833
(male narrator)
So while our damsel
went home to discover

136
00:07:12,866 --> 00:07:15,002
whether they had procreated

137
00:07:15,035 --> 00:07:18,772
our hero...recreated.

138
00:07:18,806 --> 00:07:21,575
[cheering]

139
00:07:21,609 --> 00:07:24,845
You're like the circus de
friggin' solei of softball.

140
00:07:25,913 --> 00:07:28,215
You should go pro, CJ.

141
00:07:28,248 --> 00:07:29,750
Nah.

142
00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:31,585
Softball doesn't define me.

143
00:07:31,619 --> 00:07:34,722
Scared Hitless is playing
sons of pitches at five

144
00:07:34,755 --> 00:07:36,189
and Laney needs
players like this.

145
00:07:36,223 --> 00:07:38,626
Then Dave with nine inch
mouth's at five pitch

146
00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:40,661
to play all of us,
that's a seven.

147
00:07:40,694 --> 00:07:42,262
Dodge is gunning
at six o'clock.

148
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:43,631
(Danny)
'Crackerjack.'

149
00:07:43,664 --> 00:07:45,165
You bring your, uh, thing?

150
00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:47,501
I brought mine.

151
00:07:47,535 --> 00:07:50,604
Oh, Lord. Please do not tell me
you're doin' that here.

152
00:07:50,638 --> 00:07:52,172
- Not those--
- They're collectibles.

153
00:07:52,205 --> 00:07:53,240
Right, right.

154
00:07:53,273 --> 00:07:55,108
No, not here.
Come on.

155
00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:56,810
Keep moving.

156
00:07:56,844 --> 00:07:58,746
Hey, you need a real job.

157
00:07:58,779 --> 00:08:01,549
You need to grasp the idea
of investment income.

158
00:08:01,582 --> 00:08:04,184
Oh, I grasp the idea
that your only form of income

159
00:08:04,217 --> 00:08:05,986
is Sherry's pie sales.

160
00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:09,590
Oh, can't a man have his refuge?

161
00:08:09,623 --> 00:08:12,092
- What's her name?
- Connie Lynn.

162
00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:15,696
- Connie Lynn meet Luby Chuck.
- Hold up.

163
00:08:15,729 --> 00:08:17,230
There's no cash being
exchanged here?

164
00:08:17,264 --> 00:08:18,766
Matter of time.

165
00:08:18,799 --> 00:08:21,001
Didn't you ever collect
baseball cards as a kid?

166
00:08:21,034 --> 00:08:22,903
Yeah. Keyword, kid.

167
00:08:22,936 --> 00:08:26,173
Dang it, woman,
that's why we have children.

168
00:08:26,206 --> 00:08:28,709
- To weed eat.
- Here, just to make it fair.

169
00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:30,143
I got some
good quarters here

170
00:08:30,177 --> 00:08:31,712
some collector's items
right there.

171
00:08:31,745 --> 00:08:33,947
Oh, whoa, Alaska?

172
00:08:33,981 --> 00:08:36,617
I do not substitutionarily cuss
when I'm drinkin'.

173
00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:39,186
You're gonna be around later
Masterbatters could use one.

174
00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:40,821
Hey, whoa, whoa, Jimmy.

175
00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,255
Let's not forget
that playoff game.

176
00:08:42,289 --> 00:08:44,625
That was three years ago, Ray.

177
00:08:44,658 --> 00:08:46,860
In a city league.

178
00:08:46,894 --> 00:08:49,697
History always repeats itself.

179
00:08:50,998 --> 00:08:53,233
You need to show
some love to Jimmy.

180
00:08:53,266 --> 00:08:54,802
Jimmy plays with Masterbatters.

181
00:08:54,835 --> 00:08:56,604
He can show love to himself.

182
00:08:56,637 --> 00:08:58,806
Once a Masterbatter,
always a Masterbatter.

183
00:08:58,839 --> 00:09:00,240
No, that's not true.

184
00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:01,975
Things can change.

185
00:09:02,009 --> 00:09:03,243
Like what?

186
00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:05,979
What if you
won the jackpot?

187
00:09:06,013 --> 00:09:08,015
The jackpot would change you

188
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:10,283
and history
would not repeat itself.

189
00:09:10,317 --> 00:09:12,920
Nope. Wouldn't change a thing.

190
00:09:12,953 --> 00:09:14,688
Confucians say

191
00:09:14,722 --> 00:09:17,758
"No matter where you go,
there you are."

192
00:09:17,791 --> 00:09:20,360
What the hell does
a fortune cookie have to do--

193
00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:22,963
What? What are we
talkin' about anyway?

194
00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:24,732
Masterbatters.

195
00:09:24,765 --> 00:09:26,600
Bobby with Balls of Steel
wants us.

196
00:09:26,634 --> 00:09:27,968
[cellphone beeps]

197
00:09:28,001 --> 00:09:29,803
Hey, what is Sherry
doin' texting you?

198
00:09:29,837 --> 00:09:31,905
- Give that.
- "I love you."

199
00:09:31,939 --> 00:09:33,874
(male narrator)
Call it male intuition

200
00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:35,909
but we men have a way
of spottin'

201
00:09:35,943 --> 00:09:38,912
a woman's smoke signal
a mile away.

202
00:09:38,946 --> 00:09:41,014
You ain't leavin' us, are you?

203
00:09:41,048 --> 00:09:42,716
CJ?

204
00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:44,017
No.

205
00:09:44,051 --> 00:09:45,252
Yeah. No.

206
00:09:46,787 --> 00:09:49,723
[instrumental music]

207
00:09:49,757 --> 00:09:54,194
* Oh won't you
come home Bill Bailey *

208
00:09:57,430 --> 00:10:01,601
* Won't you come home

209
00:10:04,137 --> 00:10:07,040
* Hit 'em on home *

210
00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:14,682
[dag barking]

211
00:10:30,397 --> 00:10:32,165
Where you been?

212
00:10:32,199 --> 00:10:34,234
Pickin' flowers for you.

213
00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:37,404
CJ, you know I planted
those this mornin'.

214
00:10:37,437 --> 00:10:38,872
Hey.

215
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:42,743
I-I texted I love you.

216
00:10:42,776 --> 00:10:44,978
Not I want you.

217
00:10:45,012 --> 00:10:46,780
I love you.

218
00:10:46,814 --> 00:10:48,148
I love you too.

219
00:10:48,181 --> 00:10:49,983
No, you don't.
You love softball.

220
00:10:50,017 --> 00:10:51,719
Yeah.

221
00:10:51,752 --> 00:10:53,253
Uh, no.

222
00:10:53,286 --> 00:10:55,856
I hate softball.

223
00:10:55,889 --> 00:10:57,090
You love it.

224
00:10:57,858 --> 00:11:00,327
What's wrong?

225
00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:02,930
Nothin' is wrong.
What's wrong with you? Nothin'.

226
00:11:02,963 --> 00:11:04,732
Nothing's
wrong with us.

227
00:11:07,134 --> 00:11:08,869
I guess I'm nesting.

228
00:11:10,237 --> 00:11:11,905
Are we expecting someone?

229
00:11:11,939 --> 00:11:13,741
Yes. No, don't leave.

230
00:11:13,774 --> 00:11:17,177
I mean, no. The place is filthy.
We need a budget.

231
00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:19,279
Oh, Lord.

232
00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:21,048
'Oh.'

233
00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:22,115
Uh-huh.

234
00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:24,451
'Oh! Send it back.'

235
00:11:24,484 --> 00:11:27,420
Ugh! Run away.
That is..

236
00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:30,924
Sherry.

237
00:11:30,958 --> 00:11:33,226
Oh, come on.

238
00:11:33,260 --> 00:11:34,394
Sherry.

239
00:11:36,063 --> 00:11:40,500
Okay, just tell me, what..

240
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:42,836
...happened
to my foosball table?

241
00:11:42,870 --> 00:11:44,805
I rearranged.

242
00:11:44,838 --> 00:11:46,073
For?

243
00:11:48,341 --> 00:11:52,012
Oh, n-now, we pledged
not to converse after 11--

244
00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:54,047
Are you pro-life or pro-choice?

245
00:11:56,349 --> 00:11:59,719
As in we never
talk politics and such.

246
00:12:05,358 --> 00:12:07,360
I love you.

247
00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:08,996
Piggly Figgly.

248
00:12:11,264 --> 00:12:13,200
Don't make fun of fat people.

249
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,969
[instrumental music]

250
00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:23,443
And I'm pro-sex life.

251
00:12:27,014 --> 00:12:30,050
(male narrator)
And with one sure act of libido

252
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,519
Crackerjack was certain
that he had calmed

253
00:12:32,552 --> 00:12:34,521
whatever storm was raging.

254
00:12:35,989 --> 00:12:37,224
I need to leave.

255
00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:39,426
[instrumental music]

256
00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:42,329
Just when a man thinks
he's out of the woods

257
00:12:42,362 --> 00:12:44,097
You know what they say..

258
00:12:44,131 --> 00:12:46,566
"If the tree falls
in the forest

259
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:48,535
"it's liable to hit you."

260
00:12:48,568 --> 00:12:50,770
[guitar music]

261
00:12:56,977 --> 00:12:58,411
(CJ)
Go get it, Bitty.

262
00:13:07,187 --> 00:13:08,889
[barking]

263
00:13:08,922 --> 00:13:10,190
Go get it.

264
00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:12,993
[knock on door]

265
00:13:16,897 --> 00:13:18,899
I need my money.

266
00:13:18,932 --> 00:13:21,401
I told you,
I'll get it soon.

267
00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:23,971
I need it now.

268
00:13:24,004 --> 00:13:26,206
Wait a second.

269
00:13:26,239 --> 00:13:28,041
[dog barking]

270
00:13:28,075 --> 00:13:29,276
'Get back, Bitty.'

271
00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:30,911
You need to fix your dog.

272
00:13:30,944 --> 00:13:35,548
He made puppies down the street,
and they are ugly.

273
00:13:35,582 --> 00:13:37,550
Hand it over, Richie Rich.

274
00:13:37,584 --> 00:13:39,552
Oh, uh..
That ain't money.

275
00:13:39,586 --> 00:13:44,557
That is a treasure trove
of high numismatic value.

276
00:13:44,591 --> 00:13:46,860
Oh, here.

277
00:13:46,894 --> 00:13:49,162
This pecan log is worth

278
00:13:49,196 --> 00:13:52,232
twice as much
as those thin mints.

279
00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:55,068
I ain't gettin'
no barter badge.

280
00:13:55,102 --> 00:13:57,604
- 'Is your girlfriend here?'
- Yeah.

281
00:13:57,637 --> 00:13:59,539
- Maybe.
- Not.

282
00:14:03,110 --> 00:14:05,879
I'll be back.

283
00:14:07,547 --> 00:14:09,316
[thunder rumbling]

284
00:14:11,551 --> 00:14:14,021
[telephone ringing]
Sherry?

285
00:14:14,054 --> 00:14:18,391
(Clay)
'Prepare for our weapons
of man destruction.'

286
00:14:18,425 --> 00:14:20,427
'Losers never win.'

287
00:14:23,663 --> 00:14:28,902
Hey. Some girl came by
wantin' some logs.

288
00:14:28,936 --> 00:14:33,040
Uh.. She said yours was
better than Stuckeys.

289
00:14:33,073 --> 00:14:34,874
I told her you'd be back..

290
00:14:35,642 --> 00:14:36,944
...soon.

291
00:14:38,578 --> 00:14:43,616
Uh, well, I better go,
I got a, uh, a ball..

292
00:14:43,650 --> 00:14:46,286
...bearing. It's loose.

293
00:14:46,319 --> 00:14:48,288
Call me.

294
00:14:48,321 --> 00:14:50,390
- The sun is out.
- What happened?

295
00:14:50,423 --> 00:14:52,059
He needs to protect
the greens.

296
00:14:52,092 --> 00:14:54,227
This ain't the Masters, Ned!

297
00:14:54,261 --> 00:14:55,362
You gotta go.

298
00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:56,930
Whoa, Ned, Ned.

299
00:14:56,964 --> 00:14:58,598
Hey, Ned.

300
00:14:58,631 --> 00:15:01,201
You're gonna walk away
from your helm?

301
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:04,071
Leaving these men
without a life boat?

302
00:15:05,705 --> 00:15:09,309
I need my softball today, Ned.
I need it bad.

303
00:15:11,044 --> 00:15:14,081
Look who dodged our bullets.

304
00:15:14,114 --> 00:15:16,216
Dodged you, Clay.

305
00:15:17,985 --> 00:15:19,652
You forfeiting, Bailey?

306
00:15:19,686 --> 00:15:21,221
Forfeiting?

307
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:22,655
[tires screeching]

308
00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:30,663
Do you know the difference
between a boy and a grown man

309
00:15:30,697 --> 00:15:34,601
when it comes to trespassin'
on to a muddy field?

310
00:15:34,634 --> 00:15:36,703
Yeah, me neither.

311
00:15:36,736 --> 00:15:38,671
Ball two. 2-0.

312
00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:42,575
What's red, Bailey..

313
00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:45,012
...and has a way
of gettin' all over you?

314
00:15:45,045 --> 00:15:46,579
Just pitch it.

315
00:15:52,685 --> 00:15:54,121
Son of a..

316
00:15:57,057 --> 00:15:58,191
Georgia Clay!

317
00:15:58,225 --> 00:15:59,259
[laughing]

318
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,061
Bass-turd.

319
00:16:01,094 --> 00:16:02,495
At least I know my daddy.

320
00:16:02,529 --> 00:16:03,663
Which one?

321
00:16:05,665 --> 00:16:09,136
* Won't you come
home Bill Bailey *

322
00:16:09,169 --> 00:16:11,371
* Won't you come home

323
00:16:14,441 --> 00:16:17,644
* Won't you come
home Bill Bailey *

324
00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:20,280
* Won't you come home

325
00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:27,154
* Won't you come home

326
00:16:31,291 --> 00:16:34,227
* Won't you come home now *

327
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:40,200
- This is our battlefield, Ned.
- Mm-hm.

328
00:16:40,233 --> 00:16:44,271
Where we assume the roles
of noble Warriors of Old.

329
00:16:44,304 --> 00:16:47,374
We must skirmish here
to fight another day

330
00:16:47,407 --> 00:16:49,809
as men in the real world.

331
00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:54,147
Now, you ain't gonna deprive us
of our nobility, are ya?

332
00:16:55,548 --> 00:16:57,284
Dang it!

333
00:16:57,317 --> 00:17:00,553
My wife's gonna have me
puttin' up friggin' beadboard.

334
00:17:00,587 --> 00:17:02,389
Mine'll have me antiquing.

335
00:17:02,422 --> 00:17:03,623
You ain't got a wife.

336
00:17:03,656 --> 00:17:05,225
Mamma likes the knick-knacks.

337
00:17:05,258 --> 00:17:06,659
Mine will..

338
00:17:08,795 --> 00:17:10,697
I gotta go.

339
00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:16,069
[indistinct singing]

340
00:17:21,174 --> 00:17:22,709
I'm returning your call.

341
00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:25,345
(Sherry)
'I didn't call.'

342
00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:28,315
You, you can come back.

343
00:17:28,348 --> 00:17:31,851
I'm swearing off
softball forever.

344
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:35,622
(Donna)
'Don't pee on my baby's leg
and tell her it's raining.'

345
00:17:35,655 --> 00:17:37,290
(Sherry)
'Momma, get off the phone.'

346
00:17:37,324 --> 00:17:40,260
'CJ, did you see
my note and all?'

347
00:17:41,294 --> 00:17:42,795
No. Yeah.

348
00:17:44,631 --> 00:17:46,433
[tires screeching]

349
00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:51,804
* ...to nothin'

350
00:17:51,838 --> 00:17:56,109
* But a burnin'
what I never knew *

351
00:17:56,143 --> 00:17:59,246
* Darlin' it ain't so bad

352
00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:01,381
* Livin' with nothin'

353
00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:05,385
* When nothin' is
greater than two *

354
00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:10,423
[guitar music]

355
00:18:10,457 --> 00:18:14,494
(male narrator)
Just like that, our hero
stumbled into a place

356
00:18:14,527 --> 00:18:18,298
he hadn't been to
in a long time.

357
00:18:18,331 --> 00:18:21,268
* Me and you
* Me and you *

358
00:18:31,878 --> 00:18:33,880
[instrumental music]

359
00:19:19,892 --> 00:19:21,894
[tires screeching]

360
00:19:32,705 --> 00:19:34,507
[sighs]

361
00:19:34,541 --> 00:19:36,276
[knock on door]

362
00:19:36,309 --> 00:19:37,910
I told you
you little half-pint vulture.

363
00:19:37,944 --> 00:19:39,979
I ain't got the money.

364
00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:41,614
Good morning.

365
00:19:41,648 --> 00:19:42,949
We're with
the visitation committee

366
00:19:42,982 --> 00:19:44,951
from Second United
Community Church.

367
00:19:44,984 --> 00:19:46,886
Welcome to the family, Bill.

368
00:19:46,919 --> 00:19:49,756
I feel like I wanna..
Listen.

369
00:19:49,789 --> 00:19:52,825
After last night, we felt it
our duty to ensure you got

370
00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:54,294
your wheels back under you.

371
00:19:54,327 --> 00:19:56,263
Last night?

372
00:19:57,664 --> 00:19:59,799
Dude, can I pee indoors?

373
00:19:59,832 --> 00:20:01,301
Where's your bride?

374
00:20:03,303 --> 00:20:05,538
- Who?
- Your betrothed.

375
00:20:05,572 --> 00:20:07,974
The lady of the lodgment.

376
00:20:08,007 --> 00:20:12,279
She's, uh, temporarily
predisposed to-to being

377
00:20:12,312 --> 00:20:15,415
incapacitated elsewhere.

378
00:20:15,448 --> 00:20:17,784
Our shut-in committee
can bring over a casserole

379
00:20:17,817 --> 00:20:19,819
or two until she gets
to feeling better.

380
00:20:19,852 --> 00:20:22,455
- That's awful kind--
- Outdoor foosball?

381
00:20:22,489 --> 00:20:23,990
That's just temporary. I..

382
00:20:24,023 --> 00:20:25,925
Two on two.
Let's do this, bro.

383
00:20:25,958 --> 00:20:27,560
Sit down.

384
00:20:30,430 --> 00:20:33,032
You know, parts of last night

385
00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:37,304
are a-a bit obscured
from my recollection.

386
00:20:37,337 --> 00:20:39,739
Hopefully, Bill, not the part
where you walked the aisle

387
00:20:39,772 --> 00:20:41,974
and accepted
Jesus as your Lord and Savior.

388
00:20:42,008 --> 00:20:44,611
You joined the church,
and you checked this box.

389
00:20:47,980 --> 00:20:50,817
You see, Bill, our church
likens ourselves to a body

390
00:20:50,850 --> 00:20:52,952
and we're the parts of the body.

391
00:20:52,985 --> 00:20:55,788
Bucky here is
the cerebrum of our corpus

392
00:20:55,822 --> 00:20:57,657
as the associate pastor

393
00:20:57,690 --> 00:20:59,992
and I'm the senior pastor
and I fancy myself

394
00:21:00,026 --> 00:21:02,895
the heart, however I could
pass as the stomach.

395
00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:06,366
Now, Paul and Boomer
are the hands and feet.

396
00:21:06,399 --> 00:21:08,901
They were kind enough to take
you home last night.

397
00:21:08,935 --> 00:21:13,706
You might be an eyeball,
or an ear, or spleen.

398
00:21:13,740 --> 00:21:15,442
Oh-oh.

399
00:21:15,475 --> 00:21:18,311
We're ready to graft
you in, brother.

400
00:21:18,345 --> 00:21:20,947
I-I am obliged.

401
00:21:20,980 --> 00:21:24,016
However, I don't feel

402
00:21:24,050 --> 00:21:28,521
quite worthy of being
called...religiously.

403
00:21:28,555 --> 00:21:29,589
Religiously?

404
00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:35,094
Uh, Bill, I didn't get
religion when Papa God

405
00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:37,997
reached through those
cell bars and set me free.

406
00:21:38,030 --> 00:21:40,600
That's a fanciful image but--

407
00:21:40,633 --> 00:21:43,403
Oh, no, no, no.
Son, it's not a metaphor.

408
00:21:43,436 --> 00:21:46,473
I was the lowest scum-sucker
in prison for seven years.

409
00:21:46,506 --> 00:21:48,841
- Mm-hmm.
- I was a dead man.

410
00:21:48,875 --> 00:21:52,078
But then the father knocked
me over like a kingpin

411
00:21:52,111 --> 00:21:54,581
with his bowling ball of love.

412
00:21:54,614 --> 00:21:56,849
Strike!

413
00:21:56,883 --> 00:21:59,919
* And up from the grave
I rose **

414
00:22:01,421 --> 00:22:04,491
Now, those last parts
were metaphors.

415
00:22:04,524 --> 00:22:08,795
Nothing against you folks
or, um, Jesus..

416
00:22:08,828 --> 00:22:10,997
...or your father but..

417
00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:15,902
Did you just...throw..

418
00:22:15,935 --> 00:22:17,069
You play softball, right?

419
00:22:17,103 --> 00:22:18,805
No. Yeah. No.

420
00:22:18,838 --> 00:22:21,541
Dude, you're sent to break
the First Baptist Hex.

421
00:22:21,574 --> 00:22:24,444
- I can feel it.
- What position do you play?

422
00:22:24,477 --> 00:22:25,845
Pitcher mainly.

423
00:22:25,878 --> 00:22:28,347
Bro, show me your junk.

424
00:22:32,752 --> 00:22:34,487
Whoo!

425
00:22:34,521 --> 00:22:36,623
That dog'll hunt!

426
00:22:36,656 --> 00:22:40,527
Ain't it like God to scout
and recruit us an MVP.

427
00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:42,762
Dude, it's your predestiny.

428
00:22:42,795 --> 00:22:44,631
Y'all play softball at church?

429
00:22:44,664 --> 00:22:46,899
- Religiously.
- 'Yeah.'

430
00:22:48,100 --> 00:22:50,470
[humming]

431
00:22:54,674 --> 00:22:56,409
I-I gotta, um..

432
00:22:56,443 --> 00:22:58,645
I-I promised my, bride..

433
00:22:59,812 --> 00:23:01,414
I..

434
00:23:01,448 --> 00:23:04,417
I understand.
Wife comes first.

435
00:23:04,451 --> 00:23:07,887
Hey! I can fix your hood.

436
00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:09,756
Thanks, but I'll take
care of it.

437
00:23:11,558 --> 00:23:12,792
(Shelby)
'Hey, listen.'

438
00:23:12,825 --> 00:23:14,661
Come on back when you can now.

439
00:23:14,694 --> 00:23:16,195
We love you, brother.

440
00:23:16,228 --> 00:23:17,630
Love..

441
00:23:24,036 --> 00:23:26,973
* Sweet magnolia

442
00:23:27,006 --> 00:23:29,542
* Jumpin' jasmine..

443
00:23:29,576 --> 00:23:31,778
* Gonna tickle your momma

444
00:23:31,811 --> 00:23:34,013
* You're the best thing
I ever seen *

445
00:23:34,046 --> 00:23:36,683
* My honeybee *

446
00:23:38,551 --> 00:23:39,952
(Donna)
'My baby's home to stay.'

447
00:23:39,986 --> 00:23:42,188
She ain't going back
with the likes of you.

448
00:23:42,221 --> 00:23:43,623
Momma, stop it.

449
00:23:43,656 --> 00:23:45,057
Ask him if he's
playing softball.

450
00:23:45,091 --> 00:23:47,159
You heard him
on the phone, momma.

451
00:23:47,193 --> 00:23:49,462
Don, you ask him.

452
00:23:49,496 --> 00:23:51,964
He's like a drug addict
with that ball.

453
00:23:51,998 --> 00:23:54,967
You quit playing ball, boy?

454
00:23:55,001 --> 00:23:56,168
Yeah.

455
00:23:56,202 --> 00:23:59,205
And Elvis is alive
and in my bed.

456
00:24:00,707 --> 00:24:03,476
Sherry, this ain't
rocket surgery.

457
00:24:03,510 --> 00:24:07,580
'The boy don't have a pot to pee
in or a window to throw it out!'

458
00:24:11,751 --> 00:24:12,952
Get your stuff.

459
00:24:12,985 --> 00:24:15,588
CJ, It's great that you
found me and all

460
00:24:15,622 --> 00:24:17,624
I just need to make
sure that you..

461
00:24:17,657 --> 00:24:19,258
(Donna)
'She ain't going back with you!'

462
00:24:19,291 --> 00:24:21,127
She ain't going back with you.

463
00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:23,630
Bitty misses you.

464
00:24:23,663 --> 00:24:25,965
He wants things
back the way they were.

465
00:24:25,998 --> 00:24:30,269
He knows they ain't gonna go
back the way they were.

466
00:24:30,302 --> 00:24:32,939
- Right?
- Why not?

467
00:24:32,972 --> 00:24:35,875
You ain't deserving
of my baby girl, now move on.

468
00:24:35,908 --> 00:24:39,178
You know they ain't gonna go
back the way they were.

469
00:24:41,781 --> 00:24:43,282
'Right?'

470
00:24:43,315 --> 00:24:45,217
- I rearranged.
- Are we expecting someone?

471
00:24:45,251 --> 00:24:46,619
[indistinct chattering]

472
00:24:46,653 --> 00:24:47,854
Are you pro-life
or pro-choice?

473
00:24:47,887 --> 00:24:49,155
I'm nesting.

474
00:24:49,188 --> 00:24:50,823
- We need a budget.
- Sherry.

475
00:24:55,261 --> 00:24:57,530
I..

476
00:24:57,564 --> 00:25:00,099
I need to get things back.

477
00:25:00,733 --> 00:25:02,635
Oh.

478
00:25:02,669 --> 00:25:05,271
CJ, playing ball is a coping
mechanism for you to escape

479
00:25:05,304 --> 00:25:07,540
the pain of your
father's abandonment.

480
00:25:09,942 --> 00:25:13,580
Sherry, he ain't
overpowering you, is he?

481
00:25:15,615 --> 00:25:20,119
I think maybe we require a brief
season removed from each other.

482
00:25:27,293 --> 00:25:28,961
CJ, don't run.

483
00:25:28,995 --> 00:25:32,031
I'll be back
to get you...later.

484
00:25:32,064 --> 00:25:36,703
Don't let the door knob hit you
where the good Lord split ya.

485
00:25:36,736 --> 00:25:39,305
Playin' softball
you watch and see.

486
00:25:39,338 --> 00:25:41,207
He swore off it, momma.

487
00:25:42,842 --> 00:25:44,143
It ain't about the softball.

488
00:25:46,212 --> 00:25:49,782
And just like that corndog
you ate at the county fair

489
00:25:49,816 --> 00:25:52,919
the curse had re-surfaced
and things were fixing

490
00:25:52,952 --> 00:25:55,087
to get a whole lot messier.

491
00:25:55,121 --> 00:25:57,323
(Dodge)
Why haven't we
ever heard about this place?

492
00:25:57,356 --> 00:25:59,225
It's Church League.

493
00:25:59,258 --> 00:26:00,292
So?

494
00:26:03,229 --> 00:26:05,297
Wow!

495
00:26:05,331 --> 00:26:07,700
(Boomer)
'Whoo woo-hoo-hoo!'

496
00:26:07,734 --> 00:26:11,738
Predestiny's child
is in the house.

497
00:26:11,771 --> 00:26:14,674
That jersey looks
good on you, bro.

498
00:26:14,707 --> 00:26:16,242
What's up?

499
00:26:16,275 --> 00:26:17,744
What's up?

500
00:26:17,777 --> 00:26:19,378
What is this place?

501
00:26:19,411 --> 00:26:21,681
Dude, they're Baptist.
Everything is big.

502
00:26:21,714 --> 00:26:25,652
We call it the Hex-dome,
but this will be the year, baby!

503
00:26:26,719 --> 00:26:28,788
What is that?

504
00:26:28,821 --> 00:26:29,856
(Boomer)
'That's the mini-vac.'

505
00:26:29,889 --> 00:26:31,190
(CJ)
'He plays?'

506
00:26:31,223 --> 00:26:33,626
Little man can suck up
balls like a dip

507
00:26:33,660 --> 00:26:35,795
in the cold end of the pool.

508
00:26:35,828 --> 00:26:37,830
Ain't that right, Bucky?

509
00:26:37,864 --> 00:26:39,932
(Shelby)
'Hey, hey, Bill! Whoo!'

510
00:26:39,966 --> 00:26:42,368
Bucky said your wife released
you to heed the call

511
00:26:42,401 --> 00:26:44,103
of the wild at heart.

512
00:26:44,136 --> 00:26:46,105
And doing outreach too, oh!

513
00:26:46,138 --> 00:26:49,075
- I feel like I need--
- This here's Ray and Dodge.

514
00:26:49,108 --> 00:26:52,178
Hello, boys!
Welcome to our band of brothers.

515
00:26:54,113 --> 00:26:55,347
I'm warmed up.

516
00:26:57,684 --> 00:26:59,351
I'm good. Thanks.

517
00:27:01,854 --> 00:27:03,089
I'm done.

518
00:27:05,357 --> 00:27:10,029
Mr. Rogers, a munchkin,
what's next?

519
00:27:10,062 --> 00:27:14,100
(together)
We will judge you!
We will judge you!

520
00:27:14,133 --> 00:27:17,336
We will judge you!

521
00:27:17,369 --> 00:27:19,739
(male announcer)
'Ladies and gentlemen'

522
00:27:19,772 --> 00:27:23,876
'please rise
for the the second coming.'

523
00:27:23,910 --> 00:27:25,912
[crowd cheering]

524
00:27:27,213 --> 00:27:29,248
[indistinct]

525
00:27:43,129 --> 00:27:45,832
(together)
We will judge you.

526
00:27:45,865 --> 00:27:47,333
You're not welcome here.

527
00:27:47,366 --> 00:27:49,936
This is my church,
and you're not worthy

528
00:27:49,969 --> 00:27:51,370
of fielding its holy grounds.

529
00:27:51,403 --> 00:27:54,941
Since when
did you get religion?

530
00:27:54,974 --> 00:27:56,408
I'm born-again, brother.

531
00:27:56,442 --> 00:27:58,878
And this time as a champion

532
00:27:58,911 --> 00:28:00,747
with a ten-peat
winning streak.

533
00:28:00,780 --> 00:28:02,081
- Yeah?
- Huh.

534
00:28:02,114 --> 00:28:05,885
Well, our church is gonna whip
your church's ass.

535
00:28:05,918 --> 00:28:08,921
None shall escape the judgment!

536
00:28:10,890 --> 00:28:14,126
* I'm a soldier
in the army of the Lord *

537
00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:17,730
* I'm a soldier
in the army of the Lord *

538
00:28:17,764 --> 00:28:21,868
* I'm a soldier
in the army of the Lord.. *

539
00:28:21,901 --> 00:28:24,837
Time to face the judgment..

540
00:28:26,405 --> 00:28:28,140
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.

541
00:28:28,174 --> 00:28:29,842
No need to be greedy, brother.

542
00:28:29,876 --> 00:28:33,312
* In the army of the Lord..

543
00:28:33,345 --> 00:28:35,281
Oh, that's enough.
You alright?

544
00:28:35,314 --> 00:28:36,849
I'm fine.

545
00:28:36,883 --> 00:28:39,085
- Good luck, buddy.
- Thanks a lot.

546
00:28:39,118 --> 00:28:41,320
You got it, you got it.
You got it!

547
00:28:41,353 --> 00:28:42,989
Oh. Nice try.

548
00:28:43,022 --> 00:28:45,224
Now, this don't change
my love for you boys

549
00:28:45,257 --> 00:28:47,359
but we abide
by Church League rules here.

550
00:28:47,393 --> 00:28:48,861
Not alcohol.

551
00:28:48,895 --> 00:28:50,763
What the hell?

552
00:28:50,797 --> 00:28:53,399
Man, I love you,
but no profanity neither.

553
00:28:53,432 --> 00:28:55,434
Oh. He's gonna need
this alcohol

554
00:28:55,467 --> 00:28:57,136
if you don't want
that profanity.

555
00:28:58,838 --> 00:29:01,841
* I'm a soldier
in the army of the Lord *

556
00:29:01,874 --> 00:29:05,277
* I'm a soldier
in the army of the Lord *

557
00:29:05,311 --> 00:29:08,915
* I'm a soldier
in the army of the Lord *

558
00:29:08,948 --> 00:29:14,020
* I'm a soldier
in the army of the Lord **

559
00:29:17,189 --> 00:29:19,058
[indistinct chattering]

560
00:29:20,426 --> 00:29:22,128
Oh, come on. This thing?

561
00:29:22,161 --> 00:29:24,797
'Come on, baby.
Let's do it Buck.'

562
00:29:24,831 --> 00:29:26,966
Rock-a-bye baby.

563
00:29:26,999 --> 00:29:29,135
There we go.

564
00:29:29,168 --> 00:29:30,369
(male
'Ball one.'

565
00:29:30,402 --> 00:29:32,071
(male
'Good eye, buckaroo.'

566
00:29:32,104 --> 00:29:33,239
(male
'Ball two.'

567
00:29:33,272 --> 00:29:34,974
- 'Yeah.'
- 'Ball three.'

568
00:29:35,007 --> 00:29:37,509
How am I supposed to hit
strikes when they're small?

569
00:29:37,543 --> 00:29:39,912
(Shelby)
'Bucky, keep it up, baby.'

570
00:29:39,946 --> 00:29:41,447
(male
'Ball four. Thank you.'

571
00:29:43,382 --> 00:29:45,317
(male
'Freakin' out.'

572
00:29:45,351 --> 00:29:47,954
Come on, baby.
Bring it to the boom daddy.

573
00:29:47,987 --> 00:29:50,189
Look out!
Watch out for that one.

574
00:29:52,591 --> 00:29:54,460
Oh!

575
00:29:58,130 --> 00:30:02,401
Judge not lest
you be judged, people!

576
00:30:02,434 --> 00:30:04,436
- Batter up!
- Nice.

577
00:30:09,508 --> 00:30:11,110
Bam.

578
00:30:11,143 --> 00:30:12,178
Ball.

579
00:30:14,146 --> 00:30:17,249
Bill! We got one homer.
That's all we want.

580
00:30:30,096 --> 00:30:31,397
[grunts]

581
00:30:34,033 --> 00:30:35,334
What?

582
00:30:35,367 --> 00:30:37,303
- What the--
- Church League rules, man.

583
00:30:37,336 --> 00:30:39,571
- Only one home run per game.
- What?

584
00:30:39,605 --> 00:30:43,876
Welcome to Church League,
bass-turd!

585
00:30:43,910 --> 00:30:47,013
* Won't you go home
Bill Bailey *

586
00:30:47,046 --> 00:30:48,647
* Won't you go home *

587
00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:50,116
[grunts]

588
00:30:52,384 --> 00:30:55,387
[upbeat music]

589
00:30:58,124 --> 00:31:00,126
[indistinct chattering]

590
00:31:07,233 --> 00:31:10,636
We need to show
the love of Jesus!

591
00:31:10,669 --> 00:31:12,004
Oh!

592
00:31:14,473 --> 00:31:16,275
Come on, let's go guys.
Huddle up.

593
00:31:16,308 --> 00:31:18,244
Let's go, let's go. Come on.

594
00:31:18,277 --> 00:31:20,012
Listen, men.

595
00:31:20,046 --> 00:31:24,050
There's no shame in loss if it
brings us closer together, okay?

596
00:31:24,083 --> 00:31:27,019
Alright, now who's got anything?
Who's got something?

597
00:31:29,455 --> 00:31:32,258
Unspoken.

598
00:31:32,291 --> 00:31:33,625
What's that?

599
00:31:33,659 --> 00:31:36,562
A prayer request you
want to keep private.

600
00:31:36,595 --> 00:31:38,230
(together)
Unspoken.

601
00:31:40,632 --> 00:31:43,435
Bullwinkle!
This is men's ministry!

602
00:31:43,469 --> 00:31:46,305
You'll fight for each other
on that field but not off?

603
00:31:48,107 --> 00:31:51,377
Right here in this circle!
That's what counts.

604
00:31:53,412 --> 00:31:55,614
We need some team training.

605
00:31:58,150 --> 00:32:00,419
It's a desecration
to the game.

606
00:32:03,355 --> 00:32:05,224
So you're gonna
bail on us too?

607
00:32:05,257 --> 00:32:07,259
I can't hit the
ball over the fence.

608
00:32:07,293 --> 00:32:10,229
Dude, we forgive
you for your outs.

609
00:32:10,262 --> 00:32:12,064
I can help you
with your hitting.

610
00:32:12,098 --> 00:32:14,533
Listen, we play
those cretins again.

611
00:32:14,566 --> 00:32:16,268
You authored our first brawl..

612
00:32:16,302 --> 00:32:19,005
...a fissure in the wall,
unleashing the pent up.

613
00:32:19,038 --> 00:32:20,139
Argh!

614
00:32:20,172 --> 00:32:22,308
Help us overthrow
the love pastor.

615
00:32:26,545 --> 00:32:29,081
You can't run from predestiny.

616
00:32:36,255 --> 00:32:39,258
[upbeat music]

617
00:32:43,562 --> 00:32:44,596
Ah!

618
00:32:59,778 --> 00:33:01,513
Excuse me.

619
00:33:01,547 --> 00:33:04,983
I was told this here is
where I can buy some pies.

620
00:33:07,086 --> 00:33:08,420
Come back tomorrow.

621
00:33:13,392 --> 00:33:15,394
[blues song playing]

622
00:33:34,546 --> 00:33:37,283
[horn honks]

623
00:33:37,316 --> 00:33:40,819
No, no. Because of the hood
I couldn't see it.

624
00:33:40,852 --> 00:33:43,222
[song continues]

625
00:34:07,713 --> 00:34:09,715
[song continues]

626
00:34:17,723 --> 00:34:19,225
[siren wailing]

627
00:34:33,839 --> 00:34:36,308
That's an easy fix..

628
00:34:40,912 --> 00:34:43,749
I.. Please, officer, I..

629
00:34:43,782 --> 00:34:47,286
I-I.. If you can..
I just need those pies.

630
00:34:47,319 --> 00:34:48,420
Oh.

631
00:34:51,890 --> 00:34:53,659
[sighs]

632
00:34:53,692 --> 00:34:55,294
(male narrator)
Yes, sir.

633
00:34:55,327 --> 00:34:57,829
A man has to go
through a lot of pies

634
00:34:57,863 --> 00:35:00,399
in order to get
finally get a humble one.

635
00:35:04,236 --> 00:35:06,205
Ah! There it is.

636
00:35:08,574 --> 00:35:11,109
Holy mother of..

637
00:35:13,812 --> 00:35:16,582
Yeah.

638
00:35:16,615 --> 00:35:19,585
What's all this worth?

639
00:35:19,618 --> 00:35:21,853
Only worth something
if somebody wants it.

640
00:35:21,887 --> 00:35:23,222
You believe that, right?

641
00:35:23,255 --> 00:35:24,756
No. Yes.

642
00:35:24,790 --> 00:35:27,926
Well, what is it?
No or yeah?

643
00:35:27,959 --> 00:35:31,897
Look, the-the timing
is such that I only posses

644
00:35:31,930 --> 00:35:35,401
the down payment
on the acquired, required--

645
00:35:35,434 --> 00:35:36,768
Put those down.

646
00:35:36,802 --> 00:35:39,338
Come on.

647
00:35:39,371 --> 00:35:40,439
Grab it right here.

648
00:35:40,472 --> 00:35:42,274
Yeah, put your hand right there.

649
00:35:42,308 --> 00:35:43,675
There you go.

650
00:35:46,445 --> 00:35:48,880
You could get
a lot for this from..

651
00:35:50,416 --> 00:35:52,451
No.

652
00:35:52,484 --> 00:35:58,190
I-I don't feel comfortable not
having some form of payment.

653
00:35:58,224 --> 00:36:02,561
You don't have anyone expecting
you home tonight, do you?

654
00:36:02,594 --> 00:36:05,731
"So the son demanded his
inheritance money

655
00:36:05,764 --> 00:36:09,901
"from his father, and then he
went out and wasted it on.."

656
00:36:09,935 --> 00:36:11,337
Pretty dresses.

657
00:36:11,370 --> 00:36:14,473
(together)
Pretty dresses.

658
00:36:14,506 --> 00:36:16,675
Wait a minute.
Wait just a second. Yeah.

659
00:36:16,708 --> 00:36:21,913
"The son, now broke, had to
take a job feeding pigs.

660
00:36:21,947 --> 00:36:25,617
"He was so hungry, he wanted
to eat what the pigs ate.

661
00:36:25,651 --> 00:36:27,486
[snorting]

662
00:36:27,519 --> 00:36:31,657
"Then he thought, dude, I'll
just go home and tell my father

663
00:36:31,690 --> 00:36:34,893
"I'm not worthy to
be called his son.

664
00:36:34,926 --> 00:36:39,298
"But while the son
was still a long way off

665
00:36:39,331 --> 00:36:40,932
"his father saw him.

666
00:36:40,966 --> 00:36:43,402
"And he..

667
00:36:43,435 --> 00:36:45,437
Shot him dead.

668
00:36:45,471 --> 00:36:49,408
"No, his father saw him
and he ran to his son

669
00:36:49,441 --> 00:36:53,512
"and he threw his arms
around him and he said.."

670
00:36:53,545 --> 00:36:55,481
Go kill the fatted calf.

671
00:36:55,514 --> 00:36:59,385
My son whom I love
has come home.

672
00:36:59,418 --> 00:37:01,620
Huh? Come on!

673
00:37:01,653 --> 00:37:04,256
[cheering]

674
00:37:08,327 --> 00:37:10,729
[indistinct chattering]

675
00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:18,304
Hey, hey, hey. Why don't you lay
off the balloons assassinations?

676
00:37:19,871 --> 00:37:21,907
You were terrible.

677
00:37:21,940 --> 00:37:23,509
Thanks.

678
00:37:23,542 --> 00:37:25,577
I'm your worst nightmare.

679
00:37:25,611 --> 00:37:27,413
That's your given name?

680
00:37:27,446 --> 00:37:29,615
What name your
daddy give you?

681
00:37:29,648 --> 00:37:31,717
- What is it?
- 'Bill.'

682
00:37:31,750 --> 00:37:33,352
Ah-ah.

683
00:37:33,385 --> 00:37:34,686
What's your last name?

684
00:37:34,720 --> 00:37:36,855
- Bailey.
- How old are you?

685
00:37:36,888 --> 00:37:39,325
What, are you taking a census?

686
00:37:39,358 --> 00:37:42,361
Tom, ready to go little man?

687
00:37:42,394 --> 00:37:45,531
- Did he behave, pops?
- Oh, yeah.

688
00:37:45,564 --> 00:37:48,600
Momma, that man's name's
Bill Bailey.

689
00:37:48,634 --> 00:37:51,703
You mean, won't you
come home Bill Bailey?

690
00:37:51,737 --> 00:37:54,873
* Won't you come home
I cried the whole night long **

691
00:37:54,906 --> 00:37:57,476
It's amusing, but, uh..

692
00:37:57,509 --> 00:37:58,710
'Go, give hugs.'

693
00:37:58,744 --> 00:38:00,646
- Hey.
- No hands.

694
00:38:00,679 --> 00:38:03,081
[laughing]

695
00:38:03,114 --> 00:38:07,619
See you next time, Bill Bailey.
I'm your worst nightmare.

696
00:38:08,954 --> 00:38:11,723
I love you, I love you,
I love you.

697
00:38:11,757 --> 00:38:15,461
Glo, Freddy needs
you downstairs.

698
00:38:15,494 --> 00:38:17,463
(Glo)
'It's mom's night out.'

699
00:38:17,496 --> 00:38:19,331
So, go back out.

700
00:38:21,667 --> 00:38:22,901
Tell him I'm coming.

701
00:38:26,672 --> 00:38:29,608
Your "eyescrem" chocolate?

702
00:38:32,578 --> 00:38:35,881
So how often do you throw
these parties with the mime?

703
00:38:35,914 --> 00:38:39,585
Who Paul?
Whoa. Performance artist.

704
00:38:39,618 --> 00:38:41,820
And he does this 'cause..

705
00:38:41,853 --> 00:38:43,121
Dude, it's a long story.

706
00:38:43,154 --> 00:38:45,457
He should probably tell you.

707
00:38:45,491 --> 00:38:46,725
I'll see you at practice.

708
00:38:46,758 --> 00:38:48,026
[sighs]

709
00:38:48,059 --> 00:38:49,761
MVP.

710
00:39:03,475 --> 00:39:06,512
Boomer said you had a story.

711
00:39:06,545 --> 00:39:07,879
What's your story?

712
00:39:07,913 --> 00:39:08,980
I..

713
00:39:09,014 --> 00:39:11,550
It's a waste of
breath right now.

714
00:39:11,583 --> 00:39:13,151
Huh?

715
00:39:13,184 --> 00:39:14,720
Learn your lines.

716
00:39:17,055 --> 00:39:19,558
I didn't say I was coming back.

717
00:39:19,591 --> 00:39:20,826
[door closes]

718
00:39:24,663 --> 00:39:27,666
[piano music]

719
00:39:51,757 --> 00:39:52,824
Ray?

720
00:39:54,526 --> 00:39:55,861
Ray!

721
00:40:02,868 --> 00:40:05,871
[dramatic music]

722
00:40:14,179 --> 00:40:16,181
[instrumental music]

723
00:40:24,623 --> 00:40:27,659
* You go home Bill Bailey *

724
00:40:27,693 --> 00:40:29,795
[laughing]

725
00:40:35,233 --> 00:40:37,836
Look at him. The boy doesn't
know whether to scratch

726
00:40:37,869 --> 00:40:41,039
his watch or wind his butt.

727
00:40:41,072 --> 00:40:43,809
'You need to leave.'

728
00:40:43,842 --> 00:40:46,845
[music continues]

729
00:41:00,692 --> 00:41:01,627
[screaming]

730
00:41:03,929 --> 00:41:07,633
Come on, you ain't
got no where else to go..

731
00:41:12,604 --> 00:41:13,805
Yes!

732
00:41:14,673 --> 00:41:16,575
[cellphone ringing]

733
00:41:17,743 --> 00:41:20,045
You got Crackerjack.

734
00:41:20,078 --> 00:41:21,680
(Cookie)
'Congratulations.'

735
00:41:21,713 --> 00:41:25,050
'You're the proud papa
of a new preemie.'

736
00:41:25,083 --> 00:41:27,686
* My baby doll
cute as a muffin *

737
00:41:27,719 --> 00:41:31,189
* Face full of freckles
and a heart full of stuffing *

738
00:41:31,222 --> 00:41:32,791
(Cookie)
'I just acquired it.'

739
00:41:32,824 --> 00:41:35,193
* Me and my baby doll

740
00:41:35,226 --> 00:41:37,796
* My baby doll..

741
00:41:37,829 --> 00:41:40,265
* Taking a bite
of a cherry popsicle *

742
00:41:41,900 --> 00:41:43,869
All Yankee coins, right?

743
00:41:43,902 --> 00:41:46,805
Yeah, and Idaho.
What'd they name him?

744
00:41:46,838 --> 00:41:48,239
You got the birth papers, right?

745
00:41:48,273 --> 00:41:49,741
I'm sorry.
They weren't collectors.

746
00:41:49,775 --> 00:41:51,877
Ah, hell!

747
00:41:51,910 --> 00:41:55,213
[sighs]
Well, it's still worth a lot.

748
00:42:07,158 --> 00:42:09,695
* My baby doll cute
little cuddle *

749
00:42:09,728 --> 00:42:12,263
* Been makin' me squeal like
a piggy in a puddle *

750
00:42:12,297 --> 00:42:14,933
* Google and giggle
jiggle and juggle *

751
00:42:14,966 --> 00:42:17,268
* Me and my baby doll

752
00:42:17,302 --> 00:42:20,739
* Get out the soap
get on the double *

753
00:42:20,772 --> 00:42:24,275
- Sherry, I got a proposal.
- 'I got a proposal for you.'

754
00:42:24,309 --> 00:42:26,678
Would you stop
screening my calls?

755
00:42:26,712 --> 00:42:29,314
(Donna)
'Sherry's got herself
a job now.'

756
00:42:29,347 --> 00:42:31,216
- What?
- 'Yep. That's what.'

757
00:42:31,249 --> 00:42:34,152
- What? Since when?
- 'Since she wised up.'

758
00:42:34,185 --> 00:42:36,955
* Love you from top
to tippy tip toe *

759
00:42:36,988 --> 00:42:38,957
* My baby doll

760
00:42:38,990 --> 00:42:41,693
* Shu shu shu ko ko ko

761
00:42:41,727 --> 00:42:44,162
* Sun's gonna shine
wherever we go *

762
00:42:44,195 --> 00:42:46,932
* Love you from top
to tippy tip toe *

763
00:42:46,965 --> 00:42:49,668
* My baby doll *

764
00:42:49,701 --> 00:42:51,102
Spread 'em.

765
00:42:51,136 --> 00:42:53,004
I need to see her.

766
00:42:53,038 --> 00:42:55,006
Lee Lee, you've a customer.

767
00:42:55,040 --> 00:42:56,942
[speaking in foreign language]

768
00:42:56,975 --> 00:42:58,644
CJ!

769
00:43:00,311 --> 00:43:03,314
Oh, let me introduce you
to Dr. Measel. He is my--

770
00:43:03,348 --> 00:43:05,917
I need to converse with you.

771
00:43:05,951 --> 00:43:07,619
Alone.

772
00:43:10,689 --> 00:43:12,023
What are you doing working?

773
00:43:12,057 --> 00:43:13,859
How did you find me?
Did momma--

774
00:43:13,892 --> 00:43:16,161
I don't like you undressing
other men's feet.

775
00:43:16,194 --> 00:43:18,029
He is my OB/GYN.

776
00:43:18,063 --> 00:43:20,699
So that qualifies him
to get his feet fondled?

777
00:43:20,732 --> 00:43:22,300
It's my job.

778
00:43:22,333 --> 00:43:25,837
Maybe I need to introduce you to
the girls down on Lucky Street.

779
00:43:25,871 --> 00:43:27,906
How would you know
'em to introduce me?

780
00:43:33,745 --> 00:43:36,982
Stop it, CJ. You're just horny.
That's what this is.

781
00:43:37,015 --> 00:43:39,284
- Isn't it?
- No.

782
00:43:39,317 --> 00:43:41,052
What if it was?

783
00:43:41,086 --> 00:43:42,287
It' not.

784
00:43:43,454 --> 00:43:47,192
Nothing's changed, has it?

785
00:43:47,225 --> 00:43:48,894
Jackpot.

786
00:43:50,061 --> 00:43:52,097
It's just a matter of time.

787
00:43:56,201 --> 00:43:57,903
I'm thinking of
leaving momma's house.

788
00:43:57,936 --> 00:44:00,038
She's driving me crazy.

789
00:44:00,071 --> 00:44:01,973
There's this cute
little bungalow

790
00:44:02,007 --> 00:44:03,942
that's opening up
down the street.

791
00:44:03,975 --> 00:44:05,443
What?

792
00:44:05,476 --> 00:44:08,413
So you're leaving, leaving?

793
00:44:08,446 --> 00:44:09,948
No..

794
00:44:11,750 --> 00:44:16,054
- I need to get back to work.
- Who the hell is Lee Lee?

795
00:44:16,087 --> 00:44:19,691
I'm moving forward, CJ.
You're welcome to catch up.

796
00:44:19,725 --> 00:44:22,794
I want you to catch up but..

797
00:44:22,828 --> 00:44:26,264
- I'm going to church.
- Which church?

798
00:44:26,297 --> 00:44:29,034
It had a sign...Second United.

799
00:44:29,067 --> 00:44:31,369
The one with
that little person?

800
00:44:31,402 --> 00:44:34,840
No, this is where I was taking
the premarital classes, CJ.

801
00:44:34,873 --> 00:44:36,474
Maybe you could go.

802
00:44:36,507 --> 00:44:40,912
On your own and talk
to him about the..

803
00:44:40,946 --> 00:44:43,448
He has this real
nice certificate..

804
00:44:43,481 --> 00:44:46,317
What about this GYN fella?

805
00:44:46,351 --> 00:44:48,787
That's nothing.

806
00:44:48,820 --> 00:44:51,923
He is my doctor,
he's gonna take care of..

807
00:44:51,957 --> 00:44:54,826
...things down there.

808
00:44:54,860 --> 00:45:00,298
Oh, uh, actually I was gonna
propose other options.

809
00:45:00,331 --> 00:45:02,333
No, I mean if you're not
comfortable with--

810
00:45:02,367 --> 00:45:04,936
Yeah, no. Your choice.

811
00:45:04,970 --> 00:45:06,437
Great.

812
00:45:06,471 --> 00:45:08,039
[chuckles]

813
00:45:12,377 --> 00:45:16,214
* My honeybee

814
00:45:16,247 --> 00:45:18,016
I'm gonna get
that certificate.

815
00:45:18,049 --> 00:45:20,852
* My honeybee

816
00:45:20,886 --> 00:45:22,220
I'm gonna get
that certificate.

817
00:45:22,253 --> 00:45:25,190
No, it's not really
about the certificate.

818
00:45:25,223 --> 00:45:28,960
Talk to the little person
about that curse..

819
00:45:28,994 --> 00:45:32,430
(male narrator)
Now it's not uncommon for
a women to say tomato

820
00:45:32,463 --> 00:45:35,166
and a men to hear tomato.

821
00:45:35,200 --> 00:45:37,936
Or for a women to say,
taking care of things

822
00:45:37,969 --> 00:45:42,908
and for a man to hear
taking care of things.

823
00:45:42,941 --> 00:45:46,244
Or for a woman to say
out loud curse

824
00:45:46,277 --> 00:45:48,780
and a man to hear..

825
00:45:51,549 --> 00:45:54,252
I cannot just give
you a certificate.

826
00:45:54,285 --> 00:45:57,188
Dude, the certificate is yours.

827
00:45:57,222 --> 00:45:59,290
- Suit up.
- You're already married.

828
00:45:59,324 --> 00:46:01,259
Why do you need
a premarital certificate?

829
00:46:01,292 --> 00:46:04,029
I'm renewing our vows.

830
00:46:04,062 --> 00:46:06,064
You can probably go to
a Christian bookstore

831
00:46:06,097 --> 00:46:08,099
and buy a certificate.

832
00:46:08,133 --> 00:46:09,367
- Really?
- No.

833
00:46:09,400 --> 00:46:11,236
- No, no, no.
- 'Yes.'

834
00:46:11,269 --> 00:46:14,072
You will not present a
certificate to your wife without

835
00:46:14,105 --> 00:46:16,241
receiving the
accredited counseling.

836
00:46:16,274 --> 00:46:20,411
No certificate, no chance of
ending the First Baptist Hex.

837
00:46:21,847 --> 00:46:24,349
Bucky..

838
00:46:24,382 --> 00:46:26,985
We've been loosing the First
Baptist Hex for ten years.

839
00:46:27,018 --> 00:46:30,588
- I don't care.
- We need him.

840
00:46:30,621 --> 00:46:33,458
'Okay, okay, okay!'

841
00:46:33,491 --> 00:46:36,895
Between innings, we'll do
a little counseling.

842
00:46:36,928 --> 00:46:40,165
I told you.
Predestiny, baby.

843
00:46:44,169 --> 00:46:46,071
And work on your hitting.

844
00:46:46,104 --> 00:46:49,474
(Shelby)
'Load 'em up! Now!'

845
00:46:49,507 --> 00:46:52,410
- 'What's going on?'
- The pastor's training camp.

846
00:46:52,443 --> 00:46:54,312
You up for a little
insurrection?

847
00:46:54,345 --> 00:46:58,283
- I don't have my gear.
- Now! Let's go! Move!

848
00:46:58,316 --> 00:46:59,918
'Get your rumps up in here.'

849
00:46:59,951 --> 00:47:01,987
What was the pastor
in the pen for?

850
00:47:02,020 --> 00:47:03,588
Kidnapping, I think.

851
00:47:07,392 --> 00:47:09,627
Now, let's go.
Come on, get off here, guys.

852
00:47:09,660 --> 00:47:13,064
Come on. Go round
the bus and to the right.

853
00:47:13,098 --> 00:47:15,133
Come on, hustle up.
Let's go, let's go.

854
00:47:15,166 --> 00:47:16,601
(CJ)
Where are the fields?

855
00:47:16,634 --> 00:47:18,937
Welcome to training camp, men.

856
00:47:18,970 --> 00:47:22,207
Join me in saluting
a decorated war hero

857
00:47:22,240 --> 00:47:23,975
and a freedom fighter for men.

858
00:47:24,009 --> 00:47:27,278
Your trainer, Derwin.

859
00:47:27,312 --> 00:47:33,118
Gentlemen. This allegedly
is a picture of my man Jesus.

860
00:47:34,485 --> 00:47:37,956
Question.
Is this your Jesus?

861
00:47:37,989 --> 00:47:40,291
You! This your Jesus?

862
00:47:40,325 --> 00:47:42,293
No. Yeah. Not.

863
00:47:42,327 --> 00:47:44,595
Not this!

864
00:47:44,629 --> 00:47:47,966
Not my Jesus.
Not his either.

865
00:47:47,999 --> 00:47:50,168
Your Jesus had balls, didn't he?

866
00:47:50,201 --> 00:47:53,604
Your Jesus wasn't
no lamb boy, right?

867
00:47:53,638 --> 00:47:55,073
Right.

868
00:47:55,106 --> 00:47:57,442
Who opened a can of
whoop-ass in the temple?

869
00:47:57,475 --> 00:48:00,478
Who got up in the faces of
the religious hoo-ha?

870
00:48:00,511 --> 00:48:04,916
Who took a beatin'
and sacrificed his life?

871
00:48:04,950 --> 00:48:07,418
Uh...my Jesus?

872
00:48:07,452 --> 00:48:10,121
- My man!
- Yeah, baby! Whoo!

873
00:48:10,155 --> 00:48:12,390
Hey, hey, hey, you two..

874
00:48:12,423 --> 00:48:14,259
...you had to play
at 100 percent?

875
00:48:16,427 --> 00:48:18,563
- Ha! Yeah.
- All in baby.

876
00:48:18,596 --> 00:48:22,500
Good. Strip down and show these
men the size of your candy cane.

877
00:48:23,734 --> 00:48:25,470
What?

878
00:48:25,503 --> 00:48:27,939
Dude, you're kidding, right?

879
00:48:29,540 --> 00:48:32,043
How tall is your Magic Johnson?

880
00:48:32,077 --> 00:48:34,312
[laughing]

881
00:48:34,345 --> 00:48:37,548
I...I got to be
honest with you

882
00:48:37,582 --> 00:48:39,450
this isn't working
for me anymore.

883
00:48:39,484 --> 00:48:41,686
This is highly unorthodox.

884
00:48:41,719 --> 00:48:45,056
See? Every man fears
being naked.

885
00:48:45,090 --> 00:48:48,026
Afraid somebody's gonna find
out he don't measure up.

886
00:48:48,059 --> 00:48:50,996
He's inadequate,
he can't perform.

887
00:48:51,029 --> 00:48:53,464
So to make sure he ain't
vulnerable and exposed..

888
00:48:53,498 --> 00:48:54,665
..what does he do?

889
00:48:56,267 --> 00:48:58,003
'He hides!'

890
00:48:58,036 --> 00:49:01,406
Blends in. Camouflaged.

891
00:49:01,439 --> 00:49:06,177
Nobody knows him,
knows his problems..

892
00:49:06,211 --> 00:49:09,180
...knows his heart.

893
00:49:09,214 --> 00:49:12,183
God knows he'll need no need
no bonehead talking him about

894
00:49:12,217 --> 00:49:14,419
how the weather doin'
and fantasy football.

895
00:49:14,452 --> 00:49:16,187
'What does he need?'

896
00:49:21,126 --> 00:49:23,261
[screaming]

897
00:49:29,734 --> 00:49:31,169
He needs a real man.

898
00:49:31,202 --> 00:49:32,737
[laughing]

899
00:49:32,770 --> 00:49:34,739
A real man..

900
00:49:34,772 --> 00:49:37,175
...to get into his life dung!

901
00:49:38,409 --> 00:49:40,411
Your mission..

902
00:49:40,445 --> 00:49:45,683
...is to cover your hiding,
camouflaged brother with paint.

903
00:49:45,716 --> 00:49:50,588
Shoot him and bring him
into the light of truth.

904
00:49:55,560 --> 00:49:57,562
[screaming]

905
00:50:03,168 --> 00:50:07,772
Now, where does
a man's fear come from?

906
00:50:07,805 --> 00:50:10,308
Where does all that hiding..

907
00:50:10,341 --> 00:50:14,512
...all that striving to prove
something stem from?

908
00:50:15,480 --> 00:50:17,148
Oh!

909
00:50:18,549 --> 00:50:19,784
[gunfire]

910
00:50:19,817 --> 00:50:21,252
Dude, did he just..

911
00:50:21,286 --> 00:50:24,422
The truth is, he's wounded.

912
00:50:26,657 --> 00:50:28,759
Oh, damn.

913
00:50:28,793 --> 00:50:29,794
Oh, Lord!

914
00:50:29,827 --> 00:50:33,064
Hang on, hang on.

915
00:50:33,098 --> 00:50:36,301
- Do something, Bucky..
- Hang on, hang on.

916
00:50:39,270 --> 00:50:40,438
Chocolate?

917
00:50:42,273 --> 00:50:44,209
With food coloring.

918
00:50:46,377 --> 00:50:49,247
Here, son.

919
00:50:49,280 --> 00:50:51,616
You'll call yourself
Christian men, huh?

920
00:50:51,649 --> 00:50:53,118
Whose butt were
you scratching

921
00:50:53,151 --> 00:50:56,354
when my man jumped
in to heal my wound?

922
00:50:56,387 --> 00:50:57,688
[chuckles]

923
00:50:57,722 --> 00:51:00,158
Now, who gave me this wound?

924
00:51:00,191 --> 00:51:01,826
You did, you crazy moth..

925
00:51:03,461 --> 00:51:05,230
The enemy.

926
00:51:05,263 --> 00:51:07,865
Why is it every time I say
"Our Father in heaven"

927
00:51:07,898 --> 00:51:09,500
some of you all
start twitching?

928
00:51:09,534 --> 00:51:11,436
You twitch. Ow!

929
00:51:11,469 --> 00:51:13,271
'Cause if God was
like your father

930
00:51:13,304 --> 00:51:15,206
you'd rather put
on hell pajamas

931
00:51:15,240 --> 00:51:17,442
than to spend the night
with the man upstairs.

932
00:51:17,475 --> 00:51:19,076
You're wounded.

933
00:51:23,781 --> 00:51:26,751
You ain't never gonna
mount to nothing.

934
00:51:30,388 --> 00:51:32,257
You ain't never
gonna live up.

935
00:51:37,495 --> 00:51:39,464
You ain't gonna never change!

936
00:51:43,601 --> 00:51:45,136
You're a joke.

937
00:51:47,872 --> 00:51:49,840
A looser.

938
00:51:51,709 --> 00:51:52,843
[scoffs]

939
00:51:53,811 --> 00:51:57,315
Lies! Wounds!

940
00:51:57,348 --> 00:51:59,617
Don't y'all guys
know the enemy wins

941
00:51:59,650 --> 00:52:01,652
every time if he
can keep lies

942
00:52:01,686 --> 00:52:06,491
going from father wounding
son, father, son. Enough!

943
00:52:08,426 --> 00:52:09,494
Oh!

944
00:52:14,632 --> 00:52:15,833
'Heck!'

945
00:52:18,303 --> 00:52:22,540
A real man says
heal this wound.

946
00:52:22,573 --> 00:52:24,875
- Come here.
- No! Pick somebody else.

947
00:52:24,909 --> 00:52:26,477
Get up, you boy.

948
00:52:28,913 --> 00:52:30,581
Now listen..

949
00:52:30,615 --> 00:52:32,350
...what is the one thing

950
00:52:32,383 --> 00:52:35,653
that you always want
your daddy to tell you?

951
00:52:35,686 --> 00:52:39,257
Don't fail me now, son.

952
00:52:39,290 --> 00:52:41,259
It's time to heal this wound.

953
00:52:44,562 --> 00:52:49,434
I-I'm not really suffering
from any post tragic--

954
00:52:49,467 --> 00:52:51,369
Shut up and heal your wound.

955
00:52:51,402 --> 00:52:55,506
Aah! We got
a buddy around here!

956
00:52:55,540 --> 00:52:57,208
Come up here, buddy.

957
00:52:57,242 --> 00:53:00,511
See, a real man needs
a buddy to stand-in for him.

958
00:53:00,545 --> 00:53:03,381
Get up here.
You get up here.

959
00:53:05,516 --> 00:53:08,986
Show these posers
you ain't no lamb boy.

960
00:53:09,019 --> 00:53:13,624
Tell them what's the one thing
you wanna hear from your father.

961
00:53:21,466 --> 00:53:22,933
[sighs]

962
00:53:24,769 --> 00:53:29,440
I'm...here.

963
00:53:30,708 --> 00:53:32,310
Get your head up.

964
00:53:32,343 --> 00:53:34,545
Look at him.
Listen, that's your father.

965
00:53:34,579 --> 00:53:36,381
'Look at him.'

966
00:53:43,488 --> 00:53:44,789
I'm here.

967
00:53:51,562 --> 00:53:52,897
Thanks.

968
00:53:54,499 --> 00:53:56,301
What did you bring for dinner?

969
00:53:57,635 --> 00:53:59,470
[chuckles]

970
00:54:00,638 --> 00:54:03,974
* Kumbaya my Lord

971
00:54:04,008 --> 00:54:06,744
* Kumbaya

972
00:54:06,777 --> 00:54:10,348
* Kumbaya my Lord

973
00:54:10,381 --> 00:54:12,883
* Kumbaya

974
00:54:12,917 --> 00:54:17,355
* Oh Lord Kumbaya *

975
00:54:18,856 --> 00:54:20,358
We're a team.

976
00:54:20,391 --> 00:54:22,893
[crowd cheering]

977
00:54:23,894 --> 00:54:26,331
[indistinct chattering]

978
00:54:26,364 --> 00:54:29,600
Take it easy on
us next time. Good win.

979
00:54:33,338 --> 00:54:35,340
Alright, guys, come on,
gather around. Huddle up.

980
00:54:35,373 --> 00:54:36,707
'Huddle up, let's go.'

981
00:54:38,976 --> 00:54:40,778
Alright, so let's do
this thing, alright?

982
00:54:40,811 --> 00:54:42,347
Anybody got anything?

983
00:54:43,948 --> 00:54:45,583
I do, pastor.

984
00:54:45,616 --> 00:54:49,654
We've been hiding
and I'm calling us out.

985
00:54:51,456 --> 00:54:55,460
We're living a lie that it's
our religious duty to be losers.

986
00:54:57,362 --> 00:54:58,696
I say enough!

987
00:54:58,729 --> 00:54:59,964
(together)
Yeah.

988
00:54:59,997 --> 00:55:02,633
We need to be
liberated to fight

989
00:55:02,667 --> 00:55:05,936
like noble
Warriors of Old..

990
00:55:05,970 --> 00:55:08,373
- Bible ones like, uh--
- David.

991
00:55:08,406 --> 00:55:10,941
And Spartacus! Huh?

992
00:55:10,975 --> 00:55:13,678
That Mr. T guy said,
"Jesus had balls."

993
00:55:13,711 --> 00:55:15,746
(together)
Yeah.

994
00:55:15,780 --> 00:55:19,417
So if it's okay,
we'd like ours back.

995
00:55:21,085 --> 00:55:23,087
[all cheering]

996
00:55:23,120 --> 00:55:25,390
Yeah! Come on!

997
00:55:25,423 --> 00:55:26,824
Let's do this!

998
00:55:26,857 --> 00:55:29,827
No more SUCC!

999
00:55:29,860 --> 00:55:32,430
[upbeat music]

1000
00:55:38,603 --> 00:55:39,604
Rip!

1001
00:55:39,637 --> 00:55:40,738
[grunts]

1002
00:55:45,543 --> 00:55:46,911
[sighs]

1003
00:55:46,944 --> 00:55:49,547
* Got a little girl
little and low *

1004
00:55:49,580 --> 00:55:51,716
* She used to love me
but she don't no more *

1005
00:55:51,749 --> 00:55:53,751
* She gotta step it up and go

1006
00:55:53,784 --> 00:55:57,021
Come on!
Come on, hit me!

1007
00:55:57,054 --> 00:56:02,126
* Can't stand pat, swear you
gotta step it up and go *

1008
00:56:02,159 --> 00:56:04,829
* Got a little girl
she stays upstairs *

1009
00:56:04,862 --> 00:56:07,031
* Try to make a livin'
by puttin' on airs *

1010
00:56:07,064 --> 00:56:09,600
* Gotta step it up and go

1011
00:56:09,634 --> 00:56:12,803
* Yeah..

1012
00:56:12,837 --> 00:56:13,871
Come on!

1013
00:56:17,642 --> 00:56:18,709
Whoa!

1014
00:56:22,079 --> 00:56:24,582
* Gotta step it up and go

1015
00:56:24,615 --> 00:56:27,117
* Yeah

1016
00:56:27,151 --> 00:56:30,755
* Can't stand pat swear you
gotta step it up and go *

1017
00:56:34,091 --> 00:56:37,094
[cheering]

1018
00:56:44,702 --> 00:56:47,705
[music continues]

1019
00:56:49,507 --> 00:56:50,908
So good. Mmm.

1020
00:56:57,682 --> 00:56:59,049
[screaming]

1021
00:57:03,654 --> 00:57:04,989
[cheering]

1022
00:57:21,772 --> 00:57:23,874
- For you. Homemade.
- Wow! Thank you.

1023
00:57:23,908 --> 00:57:26,544
Since the curse was by
all accounts taken care of..

1024
00:57:26,577 --> 00:57:28,479
God bless you.

1025
00:57:28,513 --> 00:57:31,549
...the world return back to
the way it was for our hero

1026
00:57:31,582 --> 00:57:33,851
Fried chicken is
my favorite. Whoa.

1027
00:57:38,155 --> 00:57:39,657
Let's go.

1028
00:57:42,660 --> 00:57:45,563
And that wasn't quite
all that returned.

1029
00:57:45,596 --> 00:57:47,698
What the hell are you two doing?

1030
00:57:47,732 --> 00:57:49,567
This here is an intervention.

1031
00:57:49,600 --> 00:57:51,602
Take off the stupid mask.

1032
00:57:51,636 --> 00:57:53,203
Where have you been,
meat stick?

1033
00:57:53,237 --> 00:57:56,040
We ain't seen you in
the better part of two months.

1034
00:57:56,073 --> 00:57:59,644
My schedule has been rigorous.

1035
00:57:59,677 --> 00:58:03,280
A lot on the docket
what with work and--

1036
00:58:03,313 --> 00:58:05,082
Ned said our suspension's over.

1037
00:58:05,115 --> 00:58:08,285
Yeah, CJ, we can
come back. Woo-hoo!

1038
00:58:08,318 --> 00:58:09,787
I can't play softball.

1039
00:58:09,820 --> 00:58:11,889
You mean, you quit
that church team?

1040
00:58:11,922 --> 00:58:15,626
I-I can't play softball
softball.

1041
00:58:15,660 --> 00:58:17,528
I'm doing something for Sherry.

1042
00:58:17,562 --> 00:58:20,998
Momma says Sherry was PG
and getting her own place.

1043
00:58:21,031 --> 00:58:24,669
She's gonna move right back
in with me as soon as I..

1044
00:58:24,702 --> 00:58:27,872
She's taking care of things.

1045
00:58:27,905 --> 00:58:30,641
It's not either of
you twos concernment!

1046
00:58:30,675 --> 00:58:33,310
Oh, it ain't any of
our concernment, huh?

1047
00:58:33,343 --> 00:58:35,112
You hear that, Dodge?

1048
00:58:35,145 --> 00:58:37,281
Now you're carousing around
with all those goody-goodies

1049
00:58:37,314 --> 00:58:38,916
carrying on 'til all hours--

1050
00:58:38,949 --> 00:58:41,552
- Me carrying on?
- Yeah. Praise Jesus!

1051
00:58:41,586 --> 00:58:44,054
Well, maybe I should intervene
on behalf of your wife

1052
00:58:44,088 --> 00:58:46,924
and a scoop of
chocolate "eyescream."

1053
00:58:46,957 --> 00:58:48,158
[screaming]

1054
00:58:48,192 --> 00:58:50,060
What the hell, CJ?

1055
00:58:50,094 --> 00:58:54,064
I'm calling you out into
the light of truth, Ray.

1056
00:58:54,098 --> 00:58:55,332
What's he talking about?

1057
00:58:55,365 --> 00:58:57,602
Who the hell do
you think you are?

1058
00:58:57,635 --> 00:58:59,570
I'm your buddy.

1059
00:58:59,604 --> 00:59:01,672
Oh, you're such
the holy man now, huh?

1060
00:59:01,706 --> 00:59:05,843
You ain't go no docket. You with
the unwed, pregnant girlfriend..

1061
00:59:09,614 --> 00:59:12,650
Don't talk disparagingly
about Sherry.

1062
00:59:12,683 --> 00:59:15,786
Why don't you take care of
your own business, Bill Bailey?

1063
00:59:15,820 --> 00:59:18,122
I'm taking care
of my business.

1064
00:59:18,155 --> 00:59:19,223
[engine sputters]

1065
00:59:19,256 --> 00:59:21,325
Oh, God!

1066
00:59:21,358 --> 00:59:24,194
God, she didn't gas her up.

1067
00:59:25,763 --> 00:59:27,097
Nice boat.

1068
00:59:35,239 --> 00:59:38,843
And so our hero put his
happily ever after plans

1069
00:59:38,876 --> 00:59:40,878
on the fast track.

1070
00:59:40,911 --> 00:59:42,680
And in case
that doesn't work

1071
00:59:42,713 --> 00:59:44,949
he can always stop by
the Christian bookstore

1072
00:59:44,982 --> 00:59:47,217
and buy himself a certificate.

1073
00:59:51,922 --> 00:59:55,192
Oh, my gosh, CJ, look at you.

1074
00:59:55,225 --> 00:59:58,095
I couldn't wait..

1075
00:59:58,128 --> 01:00:00,698
...to share it.

1076
01:00:00,731 --> 01:00:02,700
I gotta go.

1077
01:00:04,869 --> 01:00:07,137
I'm gonna ask you to, uh, uh..

1078
01:00:07,171 --> 01:00:09,373
...to get things back
to where it were between..

1079
01:00:09,406 --> 01:00:12,142
- Oh, sir, excuse me.
- Ah.

1080
01:00:12,176 --> 01:00:14,178
[hand dryer whirring]

1081
01:00:17,047 --> 01:00:18,215
[screaming]

1082
01:00:18,248 --> 01:00:19,850
I'm sorry I just couldn't wait.

1083
01:00:19,884 --> 01:00:23,253
Could you get me some rolls?
I love their rolls.

1084
01:00:23,287 --> 01:00:25,255
Yeah.

1085
01:00:25,289 --> 01:00:28,292
[instrumental music]

1086
01:00:40,437 --> 01:00:42,239
Rolls.

1087
01:00:42,272 --> 01:00:44,842
- Oh, thank you, sir.
- Mm-hmm.

1088
01:00:46,043 --> 01:00:48,045
[music continues]

1089
01:00:53,117 --> 01:00:57,054
So, as you know,
I've been hoping that

1090
01:00:57,087 --> 01:00:59,423
things would go back
to the way they were.

1091
01:00:59,456 --> 01:01:00,825
But then I reali..

1092
01:01:00,858 --> 01:01:03,227
- Ah! Ah!
- I'm sorry, sir.

1093
01:01:08,899 --> 01:01:10,968
And then I realized

1094
01:01:11,001 --> 01:01:13,738
that not everything
should go back..

1095
01:01:13,771 --> 01:01:14,972
[burping]

1096
01:01:15,005 --> 01:01:16,406
[laughing]

1097
01:01:16,440 --> 01:01:19,343
I'm so...I'm so embarrassed.
I'm sorry.

1098
01:01:19,376 --> 01:01:21,078
It's just.. It's those
pre-natal vitamins

1099
01:01:21,111 --> 01:01:23,714
and they when you're eating
for two, it just..

1100
01:01:28,185 --> 01:01:31,856
- You're still--
- Listening, yes, yes, continue.

1101
01:01:31,889 --> 01:01:35,225
I, I thought that you, uh, you..

1102
01:01:35,259 --> 01:01:37,261
- ...took--
- CJ.

1103
01:01:43,467 --> 01:01:45,202
I, uh..

1104
01:01:46,971 --> 01:01:49,840
I-I, I don't, I don't
mean to prod, but..

1105
01:01:49,874 --> 01:01:51,275
...have you got
something to ask?

1106
01:01:51,308 --> 01:01:53,177
No. Yeah.

1107
01:02:00,084 --> 01:02:02,419
* Hm hm hmmm

1108
01:02:05,890 --> 01:02:08,192
* Hm hm hmmm

1109
01:02:08,225 --> 01:02:10,094
Are you done?

1110
01:02:11,095 --> 01:02:12,830
* Hm hm hmmm *

1111
01:02:12,863 --> 01:02:16,366
- Hey, you okay?
- Yeah.

1112
01:02:16,400 --> 01:02:19,003
(male narrator)
Number one rule
in life for a man..

1113
01:02:19,036 --> 01:02:21,205
I think I'm full.

1114
01:02:21,238 --> 01:02:23,107
...never assume anything.

1115
01:02:23,140 --> 01:02:24,942
Me too.

1116
01:02:24,975 --> 01:02:28,445
Never assume that your
girlfriend is not pregnant.

1117
01:02:28,478 --> 01:02:32,382
Never assume that
your bank is forgiven.

1118
01:02:32,416 --> 01:02:35,319
And never assume that
the villain in your life

1119
01:02:35,352 --> 01:02:38,055
will go down
without a fight.

1120
01:02:38,088 --> 01:02:41,091
* Just

1121
01:02:41,125 --> 01:02:44,929
* A closer

1122
01:02:44,962 --> 01:02:48,966
* Fog we leave

1123
01:02:52,536 --> 01:02:56,073
* Oh Lord

1124
01:02:57,207 --> 01:02:58,943
* Grant it

1125
01:03:00,978 --> 01:03:05,916
* If you please

1126
01:03:10,054 --> 01:03:16,060
* Daily walking

1127
01:03:17,094 --> 01:03:23,100
* Close to thee

1128
01:03:25,502 --> 01:03:30,107
* Let it be

1129
01:03:30,140 --> 01:03:32,342
* Alone

1130
01:03:32,376 --> 01:03:37,381
* Let it be

1131
01:03:41,151 --> 01:03:42,352
Dad?

1132
01:03:44,488 --> 01:03:47,224
* I am weak

1133
01:03:47,958 --> 01:03:48,993
Dad?

1134
01:03:49,026 --> 01:03:53,030
* Thou art strong..

1135
01:03:56,100 --> 01:03:59,970
* Oh Lord

1136
01:04:00,905 --> 01:04:02,907
* Keep me

1137
01:04:05,209 --> 01:04:09,613
* From all wrong *

1138
01:04:13,951 --> 01:04:17,421
You know I've got the key to
her place if you need to go.

1139
01:04:18,555 --> 01:04:21,091
Nah. He's my worst nightmare.

1140
01:04:22,626 --> 01:04:25,495
Hey, little league.
I'll see you next week, okay?

1141
01:04:27,431 --> 01:04:29,166
- What?
- Oh.

1142
01:04:29,199 --> 01:04:30,500
Come on. Guys.

1143
01:04:30,534 --> 01:04:32,402
- Let me--
- Story time.

1144
01:04:32,436 --> 01:04:33,637
(Boomer)
'Let me go.'

1145
01:04:33,670 --> 01:04:35,572
Dudes, he should
probably tell it.

1146
01:04:35,605 --> 01:04:38,909
Spill it, before he comes.
Come on.

1147
01:04:38,943 --> 01:04:40,377
Alright. This is just
another chapter

1148
01:04:40,410 --> 01:04:42,612
in Boomer's Tales
Of Predestiny.

1149
01:04:42,646 --> 01:04:44,448
[laughing evilly]

1150
01:04:44,481 --> 01:04:47,517
So you know the stand-in thing
we did at the men's retreat?

1151
01:04:47,551 --> 01:04:48,953
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah.

1152
01:04:48,986 --> 01:04:50,687
Well, Paul has done
one before.

1153
01:04:50,720 --> 01:04:54,591
Or should I say, someone
has done one for him.

1154
01:04:54,624 --> 01:04:56,126
[laughing evilly]

1155
01:04:56,160 --> 01:04:57,962
Alright. So he's
at this retreat, right?

1156
01:04:57,995 --> 01:04:59,997
How he got there,
dudes, I don't know.

1157
01:05:00,030 --> 01:05:03,033
Because he used to be this
smelly homeless guy.

1158
01:05:03,067 --> 01:05:05,169
And he's in this
ginormous auditorium

1159
01:05:05,202 --> 01:05:07,204
where people walk up
on this stage

1160
01:05:07,237 --> 01:05:12,009
and stand-in for one another
in front of thousands.

1161
01:05:12,042 --> 01:05:15,946
Well, our man Paul
is there alone.

1162
01:05:15,980 --> 01:05:17,147
And, dudes

1163
01:05:17,181 --> 01:05:21,185
he has got something
he wants to share.

1164
01:05:21,218 --> 01:05:24,021
I mean, he's about
to have a breakdown

1165
01:05:24,054 --> 01:05:25,455
so out of nowhere,
he yells

1166
01:05:25,489 --> 01:05:28,592
"Dudes I need someone
to stand-in for me!"

1167
01:05:28,625 --> 01:05:30,660
Everything stops.

1168
01:05:30,694 --> 01:05:34,498
"Twenty years ago, I run off
on my wife and my baby girl.

1169
01:05:34,531 --> 01:05:36,733
"I find out my baby girl
run off too.

1170
01:05:36,766 --> 01:05:38,435
"She's on the streets.

1171
01:05:38,468 --> 01:05:41,238
"And I'm trying, I'm trying
real hard to find her.

1172
01:05:41,271 --> 01:05:43,340
"And I just wish someone
would say

1173
01:05:43,373 --> 01:05:45,976
I'm not a piece of shiitake."

1174
01:05:47,277 --> 01:05:50,214
Only he doesn't say shiitake.

1175
01:05:50,247 --> 01:05:52,182
He drops the S bomb

1176
01:05:52,216 --> 01:05:54,418
in this Christian joint, dude

1177
01:05:54,451 --> 01:05:56,320
'pins drop.'

1178
01:05:57,354 --> 01:05:59,289
Then, all of a sudden..

1179
01:05:59,323 --> 01:06:02,292
...out of nowhere..

1180
01:06:02,326 --> 01:06:04,361
...boom! This girl
stands up and yells

1181
01:06:04,394 --> 01:06:06,363
"Dude, you are

1182
01:06:06,396 --> 01:06:09,366
a piece of shiitake."

1183
01:06:09,399 --> 01:06:11,035
Only she doesn't
say shiitake..

1184
01:06:11,068 --> 01:06:12,502
Okay, we get it,
no shiitake.

1185
01:06:12,536 --> 01:06:16,340
Bro, now it's just him
and her standing there.

1186
01:06:16,373 --> 01:06:17,574
Then she says

1187
01:06:17,607 --> 01:06:21,345
"As a dad, you are."

1188
01:06:21,378 --> 01:06:25,382
But then real quiet like..

1189
01:06:26,450 --> 01:06:29,586
"...but you're still my dad."

1190
01:06:29,619 --> 01:06:32,122
And, bro, no word of a lie

1191
01:06:32,156 --> 01:06:35,692
he turns around
and she is standing there.

1192
01:06:35,725 --> 01:06:37,394
His baby girl.

1193
01:06:39,696 --> 01:06:41,698
And she is a nun.

1194
01:06:41,731 --> 01:06:46,336
* Amazing grace *

1195
01:06:46,370 --> 01:06:47,704
[laughing]

1196
01:06:47,737 --> 01:06:50,074
Uh!

1197
01:06:50,107 --> 01:06:51,675
So, it's-it's just some
preacher's story?

1198
01:06:51,708 --> 01:06:53,643
No, dudes.
She's not a nun.

1199
01:06:53,677 --> 01:06:55,745
What, so you just
made it all up?

1200
01:06:55,779 --> 01:06:57,281
No.

1201
01:06:57,314 --> 01:07:00,317
Tales Of Predestiny, bro.

1202
01:07:01,185 --> 01:07:02,786
Tell him.

1203
01:07:03,687 --> 01:07:05,689
She's not a nun.

1204
01:07:07,457 --> 01:07:09,226
What's wrong with you?

1205
01:07:09,259 --> 01:07:10,794
Nothing.

1206
01:07:10,827 --> 01:07:13,230
See. Waste of breath.

1207
01:07:15,165 --> 01:07:18,102
- I think you got a pass.
- Yeah? So?

1208
01:07:18,135 --> 01:07:20,137
You didn't deserve it.

1209
01:07:20,170 --> 01:07:22,172
You screwed up her life.

1210
01:07:23,807 --> 01:07:26,643
Well, past my bedtime, boy.

1211
01:07:26,676 --> 01:07:29,213
Yeah. Yeah.
Big game tomorrow.

1212
01:07:32,349 --> 01:07:34,218
End the hex!

1213
01:07:42,659 --> 01:07:44,261
You're right.

1214
01:07:45,529 --> 01:07:47,531
I screwed up her life.

1215
01:07:51,268 --> 01:07:54,338
She came up to me after
and gave me a big hug.

1216
01:07:55,505 --> 01:07:57,507
I couldn't hug her back.

1217
01:07:58,775 --> 01:08:01,845
It was just too much.

1218
01:08:01,878 --> 01:08:05,749
Then she grabbed my arms
and...put them around her.

1219
01:08:07,317 --> 01:08:09,719
And I took
in the smell of her hair.

1220
01:08:11,421 --> 01:08:14,724
And I can remember...she
was a little girl

1221
01:08:14,758 --> 01:08:18,362
and that she used
to squeeze so hard..

1222
01:08:18,395 --> 01:08:21,531
...I could...feel her hair
upon my cheek.

1223
01:08:22,899 --> 01:08:26,270
And that smell..

1224
01:08:26,303 --> 01:08:28,638
...makes all of them seem so..

1225
01:08:30,407 --> 01:08:31,808
...pure.

1226
01:08:34,811 --> 01:08:36,613
Oh, yeah.

1227
01:08:36,646 --> 01:08:38,648
I definitely got a pass.

1228
01:08:44,321 --> 01:08:46,323
Why did your dad leave you?

1229
01:08:47,324 --> 01:08:48,658
Who says my dad left?

1230
01:08:48,692 --> 01:08:51,428
I guess you weren't
worth staying for.

1231
01:08:51,461 --> 01:08:52,496
What the hell?

1232
01:08:52,529 --> 01:08:54,298
It must have crossed your mind.

1233
01:08:54,331 --> 01:08:55,832
Yeah. No.

1234
01:08:55,865 --> 01:08:59,403
Okay, okay, okay. Maybe
you were worth staying for.

1235
01:09:00,237 --> 01:09:02,272
But..

1236
01:09:02,306 --> 01:09:03,640
But what?

1237
01:09:04,374 --> 01:09:06,243
You tell me.

1238
01:09:12,916 --> 01:09:15,919
I don't know if he left
'cause of me or not.

1239
01:09:16,920 --> 01:09:19,189
He just left.

1240
01:09:19,223 --> 01:09:22,426
It was...just in his DNA..

1241
01:09:24,428 --> 01:09:25,829
...to leave.

1242
01:09:28,865 --> 01:09:31,868
[instrumental music]

1243
01:09:34,538 --> 01:09:36,573
Maybe he wanted to stay.

1244
01:09:39,243 --> 01:09:41,578
Maybe he wanted me.

1245
01:09:44,381 --> 01:09:46,883
But..

1246
01:09:46,916 --> 01:09:49,919
...I think he feared..

1247
01:09:51,688 --> 01:09:53,557
...him..

1248
01:09:55,792 --> 01:09:58,528
...himself that..

1249
01:09:58,562 --> 01:10:00,564
...eventually
he'd screw things up.

1250
01:10:05,769 --> 01:10:08,672
Some things never change.

1251
01:10:08,705 --> 01:10:10,707
No matter how hard you try.

1252
01:10:11,508 --> 01:10:13,577
Yeah.

1253
01:10:13,610 --> 01:10:14,944
Bullshit.

1254
01:10:15,945 --> 01:10:17,781
Maybe you need a pass.

1255
01:10:17,814 --> 01:10:21,351
- I ain't giving him a pass.
- No, not him. You!

1256
01:10:21,385 --> 01:10:23,019
Sometimes love
can sneak upon you.

1257
01:10:23,052 --> 01:10:26,290
You can turn around
and you can see it in the face

1258
01:10:26,323 --> 01:10:27,757
of your baby girl.

1259
01:10:27,791 --> 01:10:31,461
And then there's time that
love comes after you.

1260
01:10:31,495 --> 01:10:35,365
And you try to dodge it because
you think you're not worthy.

1261
01:10:36,466 --> 01:10:39,603
Or you can hold it at bay

1262
01:10:39,636 --> 01:10:41,605
until you prove that you are.

1263
01:10:41,638 --> 01:10:43,907
Or..

1264
01:10:43,940 --> 01:10:46,410
...or..

1265
01:10:46,443 --> 01:10:49,746
...you can raise your chin..

1266
01:10:49,779 --> 01:10:52,816
...and you throw
open your arms..

1267
01:10:52,849 --> 01:10:55,585
...and let it flow
all over you.

1268
01:10:59,523 --> 01:11:02,526
You can change things.
Yeah.

1269
01:11:06,363 --> 01:11:08,698
I gotta go to the toilet,
I'd be back.

1270
01:11:17,674 --> 01:11:20,677
[instrumental music]

1271
01:11:24,548 --> 01:11:26,716
[footsteps]

1272
01:11:26,750 --> 01:11:29,919
I know you must think
I'm a terrible mother.

1273
01:11:29,953 --> 01:11:32,889
I have this class and..

1274
01:11:32,922 --> 01:11:34,658
- What?
- Ahem, sorry.

1275
01:11:34,691 --> 01:11:36,493
You, you're dressed so..

1276
01:11:36,526 --> 01:11:38,628
Clothes don't make the woman.

1277
01:11:38,662 --> 01:11:41,097
Ha. Clothes do, um..

1278
01:11:41,130 --> 01:11:43,567
- That's totally..
- Backwards.

1279
01:11:43,600 --> 01:11:46,603
Yeah, I was a big fan
of "Opposite Day" at school.

1280
01:11:47,871 --> 01:11:49,973
So, did he behave?

1281
01:11:50,006 --> 01:11:52,075
Like an angel.

1282
01:11:52,108 --> 01:11:54,878
I'm a big fan too.

1283
01:11:54,911 --> 01:11:56,846
Look, I'd really
like to pay you.

1284
01:11:56,880 --> 01:11:59,483
I don't feel comfortable
with you doing this for me

1285
01:11:59,516 --> 01:12:01,518
without me giving you something.

1286
01:12:02,752 --> 01:12:04,521
No, no, no.

1287
01:12:04,554 --> 01:12:06,556
I'm...I'm good.

1288
01:12:10,494 --> 01:12:12,562
(male narrator)
For the first time

1289
01:12:12,596 --> 01:12:14,631
our hero could see himself

1290
01:12:14,664 --> 01:12:17,567
on the other side of the curse.

1291
01:12:17,601 --> 01:12:20,537
* This train is bound
for glory this train *

1292
01:12:20,570 --> 01:12:23,907
* This train is bound
for glory this train *

1293
01:12:23,940 --> 01:12:25,542
* This train
is bound for glory *

1294
01:12:25,575 --> 01:12:27,076
* Want for nothing
but the holy *

1295
01:12:27,110 --> 01:12:29,012
* This train is bound
for glory this train *

1296
01:12:29,045 --> 01:12:30,780
Nice, Bucky. Come on.

1297
01:12:30,814 --> 01:12:32,549
'Get on. Get on.'

1298
01:12:32,582 --> 01:12:34,584
[crowd cheering]

1299
01:12:36,052 --> 01:12:37,554
Yes.

1300
01:12:37,587 --> 01:12:39,623
- Suck it up.
- Whoo!

1301
01:12:39,656 --> 01:12:41,491
I'm injured.
I need a time out.

1302
01:12:41,525 --> 01:12:43,960
[crowd cheering]

1303
01:12:43,993 --> 01:12:47,130
* This train has left
the station this train *

1304
01:12:47,163 --> 01:12:50,033
* This train has left
the station this train *

1305
01:12:50,066 --> 01:12:51,801
* This train has left
the station.. **

1306
01:12:51,835 --> 01:12:53,002
Alright!

1307
01:12:53,036 --> 01:12:55,138
Alright, guys!
Break up. Order.

1308
01:12:55,171 --> 01:12:58,608
One more fight, the game's over.
Score stays.

1309
01:12:58,642 --> 01:13:00,577
[crowd booing]

1310
01:13:00,610 --> 01:13:01,911
I got it.

1311
01:13:01,945 --> 01:13:04,113
It's the hex, man.
It's the hex.

1312
01:13:04,147 --> 01:13:06,483
- It's not the hex.
- It's not the hex.

1313
01:13:06,516 --> 01:13:08,518
[audience cheering]

1314
01:13:10,219 --> 01:13:13,990
(all chanting)
We will judge you.
We will judge you.

1315
01:13:14,023 --> 01:13:16,626
Have you seen Crackerjack?

1316
01:13:16,660 --> 01:13:18,394
Crackerjack?

1317
01:13:19,228 --> 01:13:21,431
(man
'Batter up!'

1318
01:13:21,465 --> 01:13:23,467
I'm sorry, I gotta go.

1319
01:13:24,734 --> 01:13:26,736
Let's go, Buck.

1320
01:13:26,770 --> 01:13:28,104
Here.

1321
01:13:30,073 --> 01:13:32,075
[crowd cheering]

1322
01:13:36,546 --> 01:13:38,414
[cellphone beeping]

1323
01:13:39,516 --> 01:13:42,519
[instrumental music]

1324
01:13:43,887 --> 01:13:45,889
[cellphone ringing]

1325
01:13:47,791 --> 01:13:49,959
(man
'Hey, Sherry.
Is that you?'

1326
01:13:49,993 --> 01:13:52,095
What are you guys doing here?

1327
01:13:52,128 --> 01:13:54,498
We're here to support
our main friggin' amigo.

1328
01:13:56,866 --> 01:14:01,070
- Dude, you're up.
- We need to pinch in for him.

1329
01:14:01,104 --> 01:14:02,839
What?

1330
01:14:02,872 --> 01:14:05,542
Look, bud,
this is a big at bat.

1331
01:14:05,575 --> 01:14:08,578
"Bud," I know how
to hit the ball.

1332
01:14:10,113 --> 01:14:12,148
- Here we go.
- Go get it, baby.

1333
01:14:12,181 --> 01:14:13,783
- 'Come on.'
- 'Go get it, Bill.'

1334
01:14:13,817 --> 01:14:15,885
Let's go, baby.
Come on, let's go, baby.

1335
01:14:15,919 --> 01:14:18,522
- 'Come on, bro.'
- 'Let's go. Come on, baby.'

1336
01:14:20,690 --> 01:14:22,191
Whoa!

1337
01:14:22,225 --> 01:14:25,228
I thought CJ said you were
gonna take care of that.

1338
01:14:28,097 --> 01:14:29,966
'Let's go, Bill.'

1339
01:14:31,668 --> 01:14:33,670
Hit a homer for me.

1340
01:14:44,714 --> 01:14:46,015
You might wanna run, son.

1341
01:14:46,049 --> 01:14:49,052
[instrumental music]

1342
01:14:52,856 --> 01:14:53,957
You're quitting midway.

1343
01:14:53,990 --> 01:14:55,859
Where you going, Bailey?
Home?

1344
01:14:55,892 --> 01:14:57,561
Out of my way.

1345
01:14:57,594 --> 01:14:58,995
Sherry.

1346
01:15:00,830 --> 01:15:03,700
- Sherry!
- Foul game.

1347
01:15:03,733 --> 01:15:05,735
You can't do that.
We got these bastards.

1348
01:15:05,769 --> 01:15:07,904
- This is predestiny, man.
- It's over.

1349
01:15:07,937 --> 01:15:10,674
- Oh!
- You're outta here.

1350
01:15:10,707 --> 01:15:13,109
- Sherry. Sherry.
- Oh!

1351
01:15:17,814 --> 01:15:19,749
Bill Crackerjack Bailey.

1352
01:15:19,783 --> 01:15:21,951
You falsified a certificate?

1353
01:15:25,589 --> 01:15:26,890
Ah!

1354
01:15:26,923 --> 01:15:30,727
Sherry. Wait! Sherry. Sherry.

1355
01:15:30,760 --> 01:15:32,962
Sherry!

1356
01:15:32,996 --> 01:15:34,163
It's a men's ministry.

1357
01:15:34,197 --> 01:15:36,032
Stop it, CJ. Just stop it!

1358
01:15:36,065 --> 01:15:39,736
- Stop what?
- I don't have time for this.

1359
01:15:39,769 --> 01:15:41,771
Your momma told me
how your daddy left.

1360
01:15:41,805 --> 01:15:43,907
- And how she waited for him.
- That ain't--

1361
01:15:43,940 --> 01:15:47,577
She hoped one day, he'd wake up
and come home and be a man.

1362
01:15:47,611 --> 01:15:50,647
- I'm not the one who left.
- I'm not gonna be like her.

1363
01:15:50,680 --> 01:15:53,917
I will not wait around, hoping
one day you will finally wake up

1364
01:15:53,950 --> 01:15:55,652
and say that this is your--

1365
01:15:55,685 --> 01:15:58,287
This is your fault!
Your fault.

1366
01:16:05,028 --> 01:16:07,597
Don't worry.

1367
01:16:07,631 --> 01:16:09,633
I will take care of it.

1368
01:16:20,309 --> 01:16:22,846
Let's go rip out that jugular.

1369
01:16:24,013 --> 01:16:25,749
Ah!

1370
01:16:27,083 --> 01:16:28,685
Whoo!

1371
01:16:30,954 --> 01:16:33,823
We Warriors of Old or what?

1372
01:16:33,857 --> 01:16:36,259
All this time, you..

1373
01:16:36,292 --> 01:16:38,161
...your bride..

1374
01:16:38,194 --> 01:16:40,864
- Hey! What the hell?
- Wake up!

1375
01:16:40,897 --> 01:16:44,033
Thanks, "Pops," but I'm not
in the mood for a stand-in.

1376
01:16:45,168 --> 01:16:46,870
Go ahead!
It's your hood anyway.

1377
01:16:46,903 --> 01:16:50,840
No! It's your hood!
Your hood!

1378
01:16:50,874 --> 01:16:53,677
Be a man. Own it!

1379
01:17:01,885 --> 01:17:03,853
Whoo!

1380
01:17:03,887 --> 01:17:05,889
[indistinct chattering]

1381
01:17:10,359 --> 01:17:12,361
[hooting]

1382
01:17:13,362 --> 01:17:14,931
We were horrible.

1383
01:17:14,964 --> 01:17:16,733
Hey, my momma's
got them shoes.

1384
01:17:16,766 --> 01:17:19,235
Hey, where'd you get
those shoes?

1385
01:17:19,268 --> 01:17:21,004
Oh!.

1386
01:17:22,071 --> 01:17:24,007
Do you take credit?

1387
01:17:24,040 --> 01:17:25,308
Mr. Bailey.

1388
01:17:25,341 --> 01:17:27,176
Are you, are you drunk?

1389
01:17:27,210 --> 01:17:30,146
Yes. Yes.

1390
01:17:30,179 --> 01:17:32,181
Why don't you and your
friends come upstairs

1391
01:17:32,215 --> 01:17:33,817
and I'll get you
some coffee.

1392
01:17:33,850 --> 01:17:36,853
Come on, soldiers,
we're gonna get us some.

1393
01:17:37,721 --> 01:17:39,723
[mumbling]

1394
01:17:41,057 --> 01:17:43,092
Have a seat. All aboard.

1395
01:17:43,126 --> 01:17:45,128
No hands, Mr. Bailey.

1396
01:17:45,929 --> 01:17:48,264
Gimme the works.

1397
01:17:48,297 --> 01:17:50,299
Where the hell is the coffee?

1398
01:17:50,333 --> 01:17:52,068
Recon.

1399
01:17:54,771 --> 01:17:58,441
Ah! I figured you had something
like that underneath.

1400
01:18:00,744 --> 01:18:03,146
Yeah. You figured me out.

1401
01:18:05,114 --> 01:18:07,016
Now it's time to leave.

1402
01:18:07,050 --> 01:18:08,818
We're both fans
of "Opposite Day."

1403
01:18:08,852 --> 01:18:10,119
Whoa!

1404
01:18:10,153 --> 01:18:12,756
Leave my mom alone!

1405
01:18:12,789 --> 01:18:15,458
It's okay, honey.
He was just leaving.

1406
01:18:17,460 --> 01:18:19,929
I..

1407
01:18:19,963 --> 01:18:21,831
I'm..

1408
01:18:26,202 --> 01:18:29,205
[instrumental music]

1409
01:18:30,907 --> 01:18:33,209
[thunder rumbling]

1410
01:18:33,242 --> 01:18:35,244
[indistinct]

1411
01:18:56,032 --> 01:18:58,034
[grunting]

1412
01:19:06,509 --> 01:19:08,511
[dog barking]

1413
01:19:09,512 --> 01:19:11,948
You! Ah!

1414
01:19:11,981 --> 01:19:13,983
[dog barking]

1415
01:19:25,094 --> 01:19:26,963
[tires screeching]

1416
01:19:28,965 --> 01:19:31,534
* Well I feel

1417
01:19:31,567 --> 01:19:33,502
* Like travelling on

1418
01:19:33,536 --> 01:19:37,240
* Yes I feel like
travelling on *

1419
01:19:37,273 --> 01:19:40,844
* Oh I feel like
travelling on *

1420
01:19:40,877 --> 01:19:43,379
* Well, I feel like
travelling on *

1421
01:19:43,412 --> 01:19:46,950
* Oh hoooo

1422
01:19:46,983 --> 01:19:48,284
* Oh I feel

1423
01:19:48,317 --> 01:19:49,819
Adios, Pedro!

1424
01:19:49,853 --> 01:19:52,388
* I feel like travelling on

1425
01:19:52,421 --> 01:19:55,892
* Yes I feel like
travelling on *

1426
01:19:55,925 --> 01:19:59,462
* Oh I feel like
travelling on *

1427
01:19:59,495 --> 01:20:03,132
* Well I feel like
travelling on **

1428
01:20:03,166 --> 01:20:07,170
(male narrator)
And so our hero,
unable to change history..

1429
01:20:12,508 --> 01:20:14,510
...repeated.

1430
01:20:18,214 --> 01:20:19,983
Whoo!

1431
01:20:20,016 --> 01:20:22,451
Yea-ah!

1432
01:20:22,485 --> 01:20:24,020
Yeah.

1433
01:20:32,061 --> 01:20:34,097
Whoa!

1434
01:20:34,130 --> 01:20:36,132
[static on radio]

1435
01:20:47,410 --> 01:20:48,978
(Sherry)
CJ, don't run.

1436
01:20:49,012 --> 01:20:50,980
(CJ)
I'll be back to get you.

1437
01:20:51,014 --> 01:20:52,882
Later.

1438
01:20:54,383 --> 01:20:57,386
[instrumental music]

1439
01:21:02,558 --> 01:21:04,560
[static on radio]

1440
01:21:06,162 --> 01:21:08,932
(Sherry)
I'm not going back with you.

1441
01:21:08,965 --> 01:21:10,967
(CJ)
You screwed up her life.

1442
01:21:11,000 --> 01:21:14,870
I figured you had something
like that underneath.

1443
01:21:25,348 --> 01:21:27,016
She's taking care of..

1444
01:21:27,050 --> 01:21:28,952
(Paul)
It's your hood. Your hood.

1445
01:21:28,985 --> 01:21:33,689
(Sherry)
Don't worry.
I will take care of it.

1446
01:21:33,722 --> 01:21:36,625
(CJ)
It's just a matter of time.
Jackpot.

1447
01:21:36,659 --> 01:21:39,262
(Paul)
You're a joke.

1448
01:21:39,295 --> 01:21:41,297
[static on radio]

1449
01:21:42,531 --> 01:21:44,533
[music continues]

1450
01:21:47,670 --> 01:21:50,940
(Paul)
Wherever you go.

1451
01:21:50,974 --> 01:21:52,976
There you are.

1452
01:21:55,378 --> 01:21:58,214
(Bucky)
Welcome to the family, Bill.

1453
01:21:58,247 --> 01:22:00,449
- Never going to give up.
- We love you, brother.

1454
01:22:00,483 --> 01:22:03,152
- You ain't deserving--
- It's your hood. Your hood.

1455
01:22:03,186 --> 01:22:05,955
- MVP.
- One day, finally you'll..

1456
01:22:05,989 --> 01:22:08,992
- You can't run from..
- This is your fault.

1457
01:22:09,025 --> 01:22:10,426
- Your fault.
- You'll never change.

1458
01:22:10,459 --> 01:22:13,029
- Just as in..
- CJ, don't run.

1459
01:22:14,597 --> 01:22:16,599
(Sherry)
It's the curse.

1460
01:22:21,037 --> 01:22:23,039
[tires screeching]

1461
01:22:27,510 --> 01:22:30,513
[instrumental music]

1462
01:22:35,418 --> 01:22:37,153
Ah!

1463
01:22:46,229 --> 01:22:48,231
[screaming]

1464
01:22:51,167 --> 01:22:53,369
Ah!

1465
01:22:57,306 --> 01:22:59,308
[music continues]

1466
01:23:19,762 --> 01:23:21,764
[music continues]

1467
01:23:50,826 --> 01:23:53,362
(Paul)
Raise your chin.

1468
01:23:54,497 --> 01:23:56,399
Throw out your arms

1469
01:23:56,432 --> 01:23:59,768
and let it flow all over you.

1470
01:24:03,506 --> 01:24:05,508
[wind whooshing]

1471
01:24:13,849 --> 01:24:17,386
(Paul)
You can change things. Yeah.

1472
01:24:30,266 --> 01:24:33,269
[instrumental music]

1473
01:24:36,639 --> 01:24:39,742
* I feel like travelling on

1474
01:24:39,775 --> 01:24:44,280
* I feel like travelling on *

1475
01:24:44,313 --> 01:24:47,483
(male narrator)
Of all the things to love
about playing ball

1476
01:24:47,516 --> 01:24:49,618
nothing beats the simple joy

1477
01:24:49,652 --> 01:24:51,654
of heading for home.

1478
01:24:55,291 --> 01:24:58,161
Tom. Tom, can you take
that to the other room?

1479
01:25:02,931 --> 01:25:06,435
Look. He doesn't need
another man to treat him..

1480
01:25:06,469 --> 01:25:08,371
Neither do you.

1481
01:25:23,852 --> 01:25:26,155
[exhaling]
Here we go. Ah!

1482
01:25:26,189 --> 01:25:28,191
One, two..

1483
01:25:28,224 --> 01:25:29,625
That's two.

1484
01:25:31,427 --> 01:25:33,729
Hey. Hi.

1485
01:25:34,830 --> 01:25:36,832
You're horrible.

1486
01:25:39,435 --> 01:25:40,836
Hm.

1487
01:26:10,933 --> 01:26:12,935
I'm not a little kid.

1488
01:26:19,675 --> 01:26:22,445
You don't have to keep it, son.

1489
01:26:22,478 --> 01:26:25,481
I just need you to...name it.

1490
01:26:29,285 --> 01:26:31,954
And...you're still
my worst nightmare.

1491
01:26:36,825 --> 01:26:38,694
No hands.

1492
01:26:42,465 --> 01:26:44,967
* This little light of mine

1493
01:26:45,000 --> 01:26:48,304
* I'm gonna let it shine

1494
01:26:48,337 --> 01:26:51,440
* This little light of mine

1495
01:26:51,474 --> 01:26:54,377
* I'm gonna let it shine

1496
01:26:54,410 --> 01:26:58,481
* This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine *

1497
01:26:58,514 --> 01:27:00,516
[doorbell ringing]

1498
01:27:04,620 --> 01:27:06,255
Is she here?

1499
01:27:06,289 --> 01:27:08,324
No, the coast is clear.

1500
01:27:08,357 --> 01:27:10,526
Not her. Sherry.

1501
01:27:10,559 --> 01:27:14,463
Oh, uh, she left.

1502
01:27:14,497 --> 01:27:16,599
When will she be back
to the house?

1503
01:27:16,632 --> 01:27:20,369
She, uh, she-she
got her own house.

1504
01:27:26,375 --> 01:27:29,512
* Everywhere I go

1505
01:27:29,545 --> 01:27:32,315
* I'm gonna let it shine

1506
01:27:32,348 --> 01:27:35,351
* Everywhere I go

1507
01:27:35,384 --> 01:27:38,521
* I'm gonna let it shine

1508
01:27:38,554 --> 01:27:41,390
* Everywhere I go *

1509
01:27:41,424 --> 01:27:43,459
[laughing]

1510
01:27:43,492 --> 01:27:45,728
[groaning]
Oh!

1511
01:27:45,761 --> 01:27:48,497
Take one prisoner!

1512
01:27:49,365 --> 01:27:50,899
(Boomer)
'Doggy.'

1513
01:27:55,838 --> 01:27:58,574
- Look, I, I gotta say--
- We're here.

1514
01:28:00,609 --> 01:28:02,611
So what'd you bring
for dinner?

1515
01:28:03,879 --> 01:28:05,881
[birds chirping]

1516
01:28:09,718 --> 01:28:11,554
I need your help.

1517
01:28:11,587 --> 01:28:13,622
Dude, you're not
trained for this.

1518
01:28:13,656 --> 01:28:15,858
Sometimes you just gotta do it.

1519
01:28:15,891 --> 01:28:18,894
* It only takes a spark *

1520
01:28:20,396 --> 01:28:22,665
- Follow me!
- Alright.

1521
01:28:22,698 --> 01:28:24,500
- Whoo!
- Whoo!

1522
01:28:25,901 --> 01:28:27,903
[all cheering]

1523
01:28:28,937 --> 01:28:31,940
[instrumental music]

1524
01:28:37,713 --> 01:28:39,314
Come on.

1525
01:28:44,587 --> 01:28:45,921
Yes.

1526
01:28:47,823 --> 01:28:49,825
[tires screeching]

1527
01:28:52,461 --> 01:28:54,797
We got it.
Pull around back.

1528
01:29:20,489 --> 01:29:22,591
- Who was that?
- The garbage man. He's gone.

1529
01:29:22,625 --> 01:29:25,694
- Momma. This is not your house.
- Oh no, you don't. You're not..

1530
01:29:25,728 --> 01:29:26,929
CJ!

1531
01:29:26,962 --> 01:29:28,964
'Don't you walk
outta the house.'

1532
01:29:31,800 --> 01:29:33,669
[thudding]

1533
01:29:37,706 --> 01:29:39,742
I'm sorry.

1534
01:29:39,775 --> 01:29:42,545
What's past is past.
I've moved on.

1535
01:29:42,578 --> 01:29:44,613
Good.

1536
01:29:44,647 --> 01:29:46,915
You needed to.

1537
01:29:46,949 --> 01:29:50,686
And, uh, so have I.

1538
01:29:57,225 --> 01:30:00,095
What's past is past.

1539
01:30:02,164 --> 01:30:05,133
(Donna)
Sherry, you come back
in this house right now.

1540
01:30:05,167 --> 01:30:07,470
Get right back
in this house right now.

1541
01:30:07,503 --> 01:30:09,004
Sherry!

1542
01:30:09,037 --> 01:30:11,907
Sherry..
Leave her alone.

1543
01:30:11,940 --> 01:30:15,478
No, CJ. This isn't fair.
I'm hormonal.

1544
01:30:17,212 --> 01:30:20,082
You can't just come
waltzing in here.

1545
01:30:20,115 --> 01:30:23,652
All the while ignoring
the fact that..

1546
01:30:24,520 --> 01:30:26,054
...I am..

1547
01:30:27,956 --> 01:30:30,726
...gonna...have..

1548
01:30:30,759 --> 01:30:33,762
[instrumental music]

1549
01:30:37,733 --> 01:30:39,602
My baby.

1550
01:30:44,773 --> 01:30:46,108
Oh, here.

1551
01:30:49,211 --> 01:30:51,647
I know that you..

1552
01:30:51,680 --> 01:30:54,683
...cannot resist the roll.

1553
01:31:04,292 --> 01:31:06,495
This one fits better.

1554
01:31:13,902 --> 01:31:16,839
* This little light of mine

1555
01:31:16,872 --> 01:31:19,908
* I'm gonna let it shine

1556
01:31:19,942 --> 01:31:22,978
* This little light of mine

1557
01:31:23,011 --> 01:31:26,048
* I'm gonna let it shine

1558
01:31:26,081 --> 01:31:28,851
* This little light of mine

1559
01:31:28,884 --> 01:31:31,019
* I'm gonna let it shine

1560
01:31:31,053 --> 01:31:32,688
* Let it shine

1561
01:31:32,721 --> 01:31:34,189
* Let it shine

1562
01:31:34,222 --> 01:31:36,224
* Let it shine *

1563
01:31:38,727 --> 01:31:42,264
(male narrator)
And you guessed it.
They lived happily ever after.

1564
01:31:44,567 --> 01:31:47,102
With no brain
getting used or harmed

1565
01:31:47,135 --> 01:31:49,137
in the course of the tellin'.

1566
01:31:52,941 --> 01:31:56,645
In this tale of one
Bill Crackerjack Bailey IV..

1567
01:31:56,679 --> 01:31:58,781
- Clay!
- ...Bill like I wanted..

1568
01:31:58,814 --> 01:32:03,018
...hereby stands as a testament
that curses can be broken.

1569
01:32:03,051 --> 01:32:07,089
Change can be found in places
other than mason's yard.

1570
01:32:07,122 --> 01:32:10,626
And the water in your
gene pool can be tricked.

1571
01:32:10,659 --> 01:32:12,661
[cheering]

1572
01:32:14,597 --> 01:32:16,832
And if you ever
come down this way

1573
01:32:16,865 --> 01:32:19,602
who knows, you might pass
by some truck stop

1574
01:32:19,635 --> 01:32:23,739
turned Mexican oasis where
the ginger ale is homemade..

1575
01:32:23,772 --> 01:32:26,074
...the fireworks are sold
with gasoline..

1576
01:32:26,108 --> 01:32:29,144
...the reptile lagoon
is down by the kitty rides..

1577
01:32:29,177 --> 01:32:32,915
...and where a Mexican bandido
by the name of Pedro

1578
01:32:32,948 --> 01:32:35,784
talks in signs
and wonders.

1579
01:32:35,818 --> 01:32:37,886
Yup, as the Good Book says

1580
01:32:37,920 --> 01:32:42,257
"The Almighty works
in mysterious ways."

1581
01:32:44,392 --> 01:32:47,596
[instrumental music]

1582
01:32:58,206 --> 01:33:00,208
[music continues]

1583
01:33:36,078 --> 01:33:38,781
(man
One, two, one, two, three.

1584
01:33:38,814 --> 01:33:41,817
[upbeat music]

1585
01:33:50,392 --> 01:33:56,699
* Way down in the south where
the pecans fall like leaves *

1586
01:33:56,732 --> 01:33:59,034
* Out on a patch
of Red Georgia clay *

1587
01:33:59,067 --> 01:34:01,336
* They call the field
of dreams *

1588
01:34:02,771 --> 01:34:04,239
* Bill's a good old boy

1589
01:34:04,272 --> 01:34:07,142
* Who had a way
of making people smile *

1590
01:34:08,911 --> 01:34:10,979
* And he could pound
the ball with a bat *

1591
01:34:11,013 --> 01:34:13,348
* About a country mile

1592
01:34:17,886 --> 01:34:21,123
* Yea-ee-yeah

1593
01:34:21,156 --> 01:34:22,691
* He had a child
with a sweetie *

1594
01:34:22,725 --> 01:34:26,962
* Who was waiting
on a wedding ring *

1595
01:34:26,995 --> 01:34:28,697
* But what he had on his mind

1596
01:34:28,731 --> 01:34:31,700
* Was different kinda
downer thing *

1597
01:34:31,734 --> 01:34:33,268
* Yeah

1598
01:34:33,301 --> 01:34:37,305
* In a voice so loud it made him
feel more like a man *

1599
01:34:39,474 --> 01:34:44,012
* But he wasn't movin' in
closer to a family plan *

1600
01:34:45,881 --> 01:34:48,416
* Everybody sittin'
was a crackerjack *

1601
01:34:48,450 --> 01:34:51,486
* He was one
of a kind no doubt *

1602
01:34:51,519 --> 01:34:54,857
* When it came to committings
and more than just sittin' *

1603
01:34:54,890 --> 01:34:57,793
* He was always striking out

1604
01:34:57,826 --> 01:34:59,394
[indistinct singing]

1605
01:34:59,427 --> 01:35:01,063
* And he didn't know
a thing about *

1606
01:35:01,096 --> 01:35:03,799
* Home by the little white bay

1607
01:35:03,832 --> 01:35:07,836
* It was only so long
the woman has gone away *

1608
01:35:10,038 --> 01:35:14,242
* Hey Crackerjack
why don't you get back home *

1609
01:35:16,311 --> 01:35:20,182
* Hey Crackerjack
why don't you get back home *

1610
01:35:21,950 --> 01:35:23,485
* Well every time she tried

1611
01:35:23,518 --> 01:35:26,054
* To say she wanted
something more *

1612
01:35:27,823 --> 01:35:29,357
* He had his own way
of dodging *

1613
01:35:29,391 --> 01:35:33,896
* Like his daddy did
years before *

1614
01:35:33,929 --> 01:35:36,331
* Yeah there was only
some scheme or a dream *

1615
01:35:36,364 --> 01:35:39,868
* Or a game to play

1616
01:35:39,902 --> 01:35:43,939
* And it seemed all along
but he never really saw that *

1617
01:35:43,972 --> 01:35:46,408
* Yeah

1618
01:35:46,441 --> 01:35:49,011
* Everybody sittin'
was a crackerjack *

1619
01:35:49,044 --> 01:35:52,147
* He was one
of a kind no doubt *

1620
01:35:52,180 --> 01:35:55,150
* When it came to commitments
and more than just sitting *

1621
01:35:55,183 --> 01:35:58,320
* He was always striking out

1622
01:35:58,353 --> 01:36:00,022
[indistinct singing]

1623
01:36:00,055 --> 01:36:02,024
* And he didn't know
a thing about *

1624
01:36:02,057 --> 01:36:04,459
* Home by the little white bay

1625
01:36:04,492 --> 01:36:08,496
* It was only so long/His only
sole love the woman has gone
away *

1626
01:36:10,866 --> 01:36:14,870
* Hey Crackerjack
why don't you get back home *

1627
01:36:16,872 --> 01:36:20,876
* Hey Crackerjack
why don't you get back home *

1628
01:36:23,011 --> 01:36:25,948
* Seemed hard to break
the cycle *

1629
01:36:25,981 --> 01:36:29,117
* Seemed hard to make a stand

1630
01:36:29,151 --> 01:36:35,157
* Sometimes you gotta
suck it up and be a man *

1631
01:36:47,269 --> 01:36:50,038
* Everybody sittin'
was a crackerjack *

1632
01:36:50,072 --> 01:36:52,908
* He was one
of a kind no doubt *

1633
01:36:52,941 --> 01:36:56,078
* When it came to commitments
and more than just sitting *

1634
01:36:56,111 --> 01:36:58,981
* He was always striking out

1635
01:36:59,014 --> 01:37:02,584
* He was alone walking and he
didn't know a thing about *

1636
01:37:02,617 --> 01:37:05,220
* Home by the little white bay

1637
01:37:05,253 --> 01:37:09,557
* Just alone so long
Woman is gone away *

1638
01:37:09,591 --> 01:37:11,393
* Yeah

1639
01:37:11,426 --> 01:37:15,197
* So you better don't make
right a little detour.. *

1640
01:37:18,200 --> 01:37:21,536
* Hey Crackerjack
why don't you get back home *

1641
01:37:23,671 --> 01:37:27,542
* Hey Crackerjack
why don't you get back home *

1642
01:37:29,377 --> 01:37:33,916
* Hey hey Crackerjack
why don't you get back home *

1643
01:37:35,951 --> 01:37:39,621
* Hey Crackerjack
why don't you get back home *